Friday, May 29, 2009

Update

Well, we had an answer to prayer. Caleb decided to flip into the proper position sometime between the ultrasound yesterday and the one today. They had me all ready for surgery. I had an IV put in and fluids and everything. It was about time for the surgery when they came in a did the ultrasound. His head was down and no c-section. Honestly, I lost it. I started crying uncontrollably. I had my heart all prepared for the surgery and I was at peace and then wham, more waiting. My induction was scheduled for Wednesday but they were trying to convince me to have it done today. They started listing all the risks if the baby turns again and I go into labor. They were scaring me a bit. My ever wise husband was there like a rock with gentle advice. He said that I was tired (from not sleeping last night), stressed (from my mom and being overdue), and very hungry (not eating since last night around midnight.) He suggested we just go home and rest and try to see what happens. We compromised and scheduled an induction on Monday morning. Caleb's heart rate and movement was fine while I was monitored this morning and the fluid levels were good so they agreed to wait until Monday. Carl and I went to the mall and walked around for about an hour and then picked up the kids. Daniel looked at me and said "Where is Asher Caleb? I want to see him." He is so cute when he says the name reversed. It just made my day to see all my little ones again. I missed them. Yes, I am disappointed to not be holding my newest little one but God is in control and his timing is perfect. I need to trust Caleb into God's capable arms knowing that he will protect him. My worry does nothing but lead to more worry which is sin. Carl has been great through the whole thing. He has made me laugh all day (especially about our anti-large family grumpy nurse who told us flat out that God has nothing to do with making babies)and cry sometimes too with his reassuring arms around me. He has been praying with me all day that the Lord would just ease my worries and give me peace. Pray that I will go into labor on my own and soon. But if not pray that the induction would be a quick one and not two days like Daniel's and Alex's. Pray for my mom too. She was not feeling well at all today. When we left her house around 7:00. She said she was going to take a bath and go to bed. Highly unusual for her as she and my dad like to stay up watching television. Thank you all for your prayers that you have lifted up on behalf of me and Caleb. I just can't wait to hold him and have you all meet him.

Worried Ramblings of An Overdue Mom

Okay, it is now 4:38 in the morning and I am wide awake and have been since about 3:00. I have gotten only about 2 hours of sleep. I am so tired right now but worry is getting the better of me. I am worried that I will go in tomorrow and have to have the C-section. I am also worried that I will go in tomorrow and not have it. Weird, I know. My fear is that something is wrong with the Caleb. I cannot stand another 6 days of waiting for my induction if he has turned and I don't have the c-section done tomorrow. I want to meet my baby now! I want him on the outside so I can touch and feel him. I am so worried that something is wrong with the cord. I don't know if it is Satan just attacking my thoughts or a mother's intuition that something is really wrong. It does not help that Caleb is moving non-stop tonight and I can't find a comfortable position. I have so many thoughts running through my head right now that I literally cannot relax enough to get to sleep. I am sitting in the floor of our loft because I want Carl to get some sleep. He needs it. My mom has the boys and Esther and that is another worry. She is getting weaker and weaker and I know having all the kids is a strain on her. I know the Lord is in control and I keep telling myself that his plan is perfect. I know that he will give me the strength to handle whatever happens tomorrow or the next day. I just am ready to meet this boy and can't stand the thought of going to the hospital and then coming home tomorrow and having to wait and worry for my induction on Wednesday. I know that Carl has work to do but I need him so much right now and I know that if I do not have the c-section tomorrow that he will need to go to work Friday and Saturday and also Monday and Tuesday. That leaves me with six kids, a messy house, and the worrying over Caleb. I cannot help the worrying. I know it is sin. I know God is in control but I still worry. It makes me want to cry because I just want to hold him so bad. All the things that could go wrong keep running through my head. I wish I could just shut off my brain and get some sleep. I wish I could just crawl into bed and relax but every time I do Caleb moves and I start to worry. Is everything okay in there? What if he stops moving? What if the cord is too short like Alex? What is it gets kinked or wrapped around his neck? The what ifs are winning the spiritual battle in my mind right now! I know Satan wants to have me fearful and discouraged. I know that it is his goal to take my joy away right now. I need to just cast all my cares upon the Lord but sometimes that is easier said than done. And right now is one of those times when ir is hard.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day

I know that some of you are going to be so jealous when you read this post. I found out about a picnic about 45 minutes from out house that I know all of you would love to attend. It is hosted by Scott Brown of the National Center for Family Integrated Churches (ministry of Vision Forum). In fact it is on his farm. Carl and I decided that if he was feeling better today that we would try to go. He woke up feeling good so we all piled in the van and headed to their farm. It was am amazing day. When we first arrived they had a dad and his daughter greet us before we even drove all the way on the property. They were handing out free Cd's to every car. They were from Doug Phillips, Scott Brown, and two other men. Carl was quite impressed. We got to sit under the teachings of Doug Phillips himself who attended with his whole family. Talk about encouraging. The whole day was dedicated to raising real men and honoring those men who had served in our military. We got to hear from Ezra Hill who was a Tuskegee Airmen who fought in WW2. He has an amazing singing voice. We also got to hear Bill Brown and Bill Henderson be interviewed right before our eyes. If you don't know who they are you need to listen to Jonathan Park's episode entitled Return to Iwo Jima (Volume 4). Both men fought on Iwo Jima and Bill Brown was even shot down and had to be rescued by a submarine. It was amazing to hear these men speak about real manhood and how important it is to raise godly young men like those who fought during WW2. Lunch was provided (in the pouring rain) and after the rain stopped they had snow cones, balls, Frisbees, a pond to catch fish in, and hayrides and jeep rides (driven by Doug Phillips himself.) It was awesome to be around families of like mind. Everyone was so polite and friendly and we felt like we truly were a part of their family. It was incredible to walk and meet men who we have heard speak on CD from vision forum. I have also never seen that many large families in my life. For once I did not feel weird about being very pregnant with number 7. There were more 15 passenger vans than mini vans and it was awesome. Pregnant women and babies were everywhere. The kids had a great time and did not want to leave. William's favorite part of the day was actually meeting Bill Brown in person and shaking his hand. Alex loved fishing in one of the many ponds on the property. Nathan, Esther, and Daniel liked the hayride and jeep ride. Sam just liked running around. All in all it was a wonderful day, one I will cherish for a long time. I can't wait till next year. Next year will be their 10Th time having it and you can guarantee that Carl and I will be there again. Some of you guys should plan on coming down to visit our home school convention and then the picnic. They are always held the same weekend. I will post some of the awesome pictures and videos I took today on a later post. I am too tired right now to go get my camera.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

More Prayer

Pray for Carl. He has caught whatever William had. He is feeling really bad right now and he can't take off any time this week because we are trying to save his leave for when Caleb is born. He is achy all over and tired and generally feels bad. Daniel caught pink eye from everyone else and Alex's asthma started acting up yesterday. He did not get much sleep last night due to coughing. He had to take an albuterol treatment for the first time in about six months. We stayed home from church due to all the sickness going around. Pray that everyone is healed in time for this baby to be born. I don't think I can do this without Carl's full support during labor. Also pray that I don't get sick. I cannot fathom having whatever is going around the kids and Carl while in labor and delivering let alone with a newborn. One good thing is our home school fair was this weekend. We took all the older kids to get their books for the year. I was able to get everything but the spelling program I want for the kids. I have been organizing all day today because it has been a movie day here. It is exciting to look at all the new books. It is good to have a little distraction during all the chaos of sick kids and Carl. He is not a good patient. He gets cranky when he does not feel well.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Update on Sick Kids

Well, William thankfully does not have the flu. Yeah! I need some good news. Nathan's eye is healing wonderfully but Esther's is worse. She has a swollen eye now and has a blood spot in her eye. They want to see her tomorrow just to check it out. William is worrying me. He has not eaten hardly anything since Monday. He keeps getting dizzy spells and really high fevers. He now says his legs hurt and his armpits (weird huh?) He has done nothing but lay around since Monday. The funny thing is he gets these spells where for about an hour or two he will be just fine. He will be up and running around and no fever or anything and then he like crashes. Fever goes back up and body aches and headaches. He just lays and moans sometimes. He is going back to the doctor tomorrow too. This is really wearing me out and my energy level is almost non existent. I am worried and tired and just basically in that wait mode. I really am hoping not to go soon because I am too busy taking care of sick kids right now to have this baby. God's timing truly is perfect because if I had delivered already I would be dealing with sick kids, a newborn, and trying to recover from delivery. God's timing truly is perfect!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

How Much More Can I Take

Today we are dealing with two kids with pink eye and one case of suspected flu. I am due tomorrow and not feeling well myself. Carl had to stay home today because Sam had an evaluation for speech therapy. It was a home visit and went very well. He passed with flying colors on everything but expressive language (because he has none.) He rarely even says ma and has never said da. The normal range of scoring was between 85 and 115. He passed receptive language, fine and gross motor skills in the 90's. He expressive language was less than 55. Needless to say they want him to see a hearing and speech specialist soon. After that meeting I called our doctor to get some eye drops for the two with pink eye. When she heard that William had a high fever of 102, headache, chills, and an upset stomach they wanted to see him right away. So off to the doctor we go. They did a strep test (negative) and a flu test. Since all this nonsense with the swine flu they could not do a rapid test and had to send it to the lab. I got 3/4 of the way home when the nurse called and said there was a problem with his test and he would have to come back again and retake it. We live an hour away from the doctors. It took all the strength I had left to not start yelling. I was calm though and told them that I have an OB appointment tomorrow anyway and am driving right past the doctors office. So we are off again tomorrow for a nurse visit to get it done again. The joys of having children. On top of everything my mom is going downhill fast. She has no energy whatsoever and her headaches are lasting all day now. She is certain she had a seizure the other night so she is afraid to drive. All the doctors agree to wait a until the 8th to schedule the surgery but my mom is really not feeling well at all. In addition we now have a mouse problem in our house. Carl put poison out and one decided to die on our family room floor. The kids walked in the house after a visit to my mom and discovered it. I just walked right back out the door and called my wonderful husband to come home IMMEDIATELY. It was after 5:30 anyway so he was just finishing up work anyway. We all went to McDonald's drive Thur while daddy made the house safe. It has definitely been an interesting couple of days. Oh, Carl also had car trouble yesterday. Man, I am tired. I came home from the doctors today and took an hour nap (unintentional). It was a good thing that William was inside to watch Sam. The other kids and Carl were all outside working on the garden. I woke up and jumped up (well as much as a 9 month pregnant woman can jump up) and searched for Sam. He was contently playing in the play room. Thank goodness he did not walk outside the house with the kids running in and out getting drinks and tools for Carl. Our pastor made a comment during the sermon on Sunday that has really been on my heart this week. He said no event happens in our lives without first crossing the desk of God and getting his approval. Wow, I really needed that to reflect on this week. Oh, the funny thins is is that it is only Tuesday!!!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Update on My Mom

My mom had her appointment with her neurosurgeon on Tuesday. She definitely needs surgery. It will not be till sometime in June so that is a praise. When I called her today she was out shopping for hats and scarves as they will need to shave her hair. I almost cried. She told me that the doctors now might think it is cancerous. They will not know until they do the surgery. My mom is so concerned right now about my dad. It is going to be a ten hour surgery with her in the hospital almost a week. My dad does not do well with waiting, especially in the hospital. Leave it to my mom to be more concerned about all the rest of us instead of dwelling on the fact that she is having major surgery on her brain! I guess if she dwells too much on it then she will get depressed. She just kept telling me on the phone that the Lord knows what he is doing and he will see us all through. She is ready for whatever happens and that is an encouragement to me. I have tried to explain to the kids about all this. The older ones understand and the boys actually think it is cool that they are going to be inside her head. I have yet to see my mom and dad since her appointment so I really don't know how they are handling everything. My dad is our main concern right now. He has such a hard time without my mom around and he can't stay with us because we have a two story house. His heart and lung condition causes him to not handle steps well. Be in prayer for my mom and dad and my two sisters. Kellie is in CO it is painful for her being so far away. Jen is in VA so it is a little easier for her to come down. Hopefully between the two of us we can make sure my dad is taken care of. I will have a very new baby right when the surgery happens so that is a concern too. Oh, does this post sound depressing. I thought I just posted like this about my dad and his leukemia. No wait, I did last year. I keep telling my parents that they are giving all of us girls gray hair or in my case white. After everything settles down I am banning all sickness for at least a year. Can I do that? At least it keeps us all on our knees and close to the Lord. I don't think I have grown so much in my relationship with God as I have these past few years with my parents medical issues. God has truly blessed us in how each circumstance has come to pass. If my dad had not had heart problems that day last spring then they never would have thought to check his blood levels and find the leukemia. If my mom had not fallen and hit her head that day last month they never would have done the 2nd MRI to find the brain tumor. God is good. He always gives us just enough strength for each day. No more and no less. There is no sense worrying about tomorrow because I have not been given the strength for that day yet. I need to paste that to my forehead as I have a lot on my plate these next few weeks.
On a lighter note, Carl finally came up with a name for this new little one.
CALEB ASHER TRAUTMAN
I think we have a theme going on with a few names. The initials CAT or KAT for four members of the family.
Alex wanted Reuben Asher because the initials would be RAT. He could be a CAT chasing a RAT. Carl did not think that was too funny. He has this thing about initials.
I think that is enough rambling for today. I think I am going to take a nap before our home school co-op family night event.