3 old things found new
88. My relationship with my husband has become new this year. We have been working on communicating better with each other. Our relationship is growing like it has never done before. It is really a God thing as The Lord is working on both of our hearts to make us grow closer to him and therefore closer to each other.
89. The old game that I play with my kids since they could say I love you. If one of us says "I love you " then whoever says "I love you infinity and beyond" first after that wins. My 13 year old has recently begun to play this game with me every night. He gets me every time and then just smiles and laughs. I recently found a letter I had written to my husband on our 1st wedding anniversary. I signed it "I love you infinity." An old game made new and I love it.
90. A friend from high school recently made contact with me on Facebook. It made me bring out all my old yearbooks. I have had a blast looking back to my high school days. I am thankful because it reminds how far I have come in my walk with The Lord.
I love Carl because he put the date on his "I love you because ..." frame. The joke is he always forgets the date so when I go back to blog I can never tell what day he wrote it.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Graces found
Three graces found in friends:
82. A phone call from my sister to ask my advice about homeschooling her daughters. She always makes me smile. She calls me "mother of many."
83. A good discussion with a fellow homeschooler at church on Sunday. Sometimes I feel like all I do is run after kids all Sunday. Some Sundays I get no adult communication. It was good to talk to her and find out she is struggling with some of the same things I am.
84. The open lines of communication between my best friend and I. Of course I am referring to my sweet husband. We have been working hard at communicating better with each other this year. I am so thankful for that.
85. A song heard - the music I listen to when I walk and run in the afternoon is such a blessing. One song in particular is called "Savior's Here" by Kari Jobe. I listen to it every day and it just lifts up my soul.
86. A soft word- the soft girly sounds from my 18 month old. She does not speak yet but she communicates with her soft voice. I love to hear her "talk."
87. Light seen - my 13 year starting to see the light with regards to his spiritual walk. He was saved at a young age but has really struggled these past two years. He has been meeting with his father for bible study Monday mornings and we are seeing small changes. I am so thankful and pray that the small changes lead to big ones.
I love Carl because he has asked men in the church to hold him accountable in leading our family.
82. A phone call from my sister to ask my advice about homeschooling her daughters. She always makes me smile. She calls me "mother of many."
83. A good discussion with a fellow homeschooler at church on Sunday. Sometimes I feel like all I do is run after kids all Sunday. Some Sundays I get no adult communication. It was good to talk to her and find out she is struggling with some of the same things I am.
84. The open lines of communication between my best friend and I. Of course I am referring to my sweet husband. We have been working hard at communicating better with each other this year. I am so thankful for that.
85. A song heard - the music I listen to when I walk and run in the afternoon is such a blessing. One song in particular is called "Savior's Here" by Kari Jobe. I listen to it every day and it just lifts up my soul.
86. A soft word- the soft girly sounds from my 18 month old. She does not speak yet but she communicates with her soft voice. I love to hear her "talk."
87. Light seen - my 13 year starting to see the light with regards to his spiritual walk. He was saved at a young age but has really struggled these past two years. He has been meeting with his father for bible study Monday mornings and we are seeing small changes. I am so thankful and pray that the small changes lead to big ones.
I love Carl because he has asked men in the church to hold him accountable in leading our family.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
My Kitchen
Three things I am thankful for today:
3 gifts in the kitchen
79. My crock pots. I love them. I use them at least three times a week. With 8 kids it is a necessity. In the past 24 hours I made homemade spaghetti sauce, two batches of potato soup and kept green beans warm for our potluck at church.
80. My kitchen table that was restrained and refinished last year by my mom and dad. We are almost maxed out on it but I love sitting together at dinner and talking about our day with my husband when he comes home from work.
81. My electric tea kettle. I use it multiple times a day. I fix my cappuccino in the morning and my magnesium at night. I love it and highly recommend them to non coffee drinkers.
I love Carl because he is always trying to make my life easier.
3 gifts in the kitchen
79. My crock pots. I love them. I use them at least three times a week. With 8 kids it is a necessity. In the past 24 hours I made homemade spaghetti sauce, two batches of potato soup and kept green beans warm for our potluck at church.
80. My kitchen table that was restrained and refinished last year by my mom and dad. We are almost maxed out on it but I love sitting together at dinner and talking about our day with my husband when he comes home from work.
81. My electric tea kettle. I use it multiple times a day. I fix my cappuccino in the morning and my magnesium at night. I love it and highly recommend them to non coffee drinkers.
I love Carl because he is always trying to make my life easier.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
At Dawn, At Noon, At Dark
Three things I am thankful for:
76. A gift before dawn- the sounds of the garbage truck picking up our trash and recycling. I am thankful for their 5a.m. wake up calls, especially this week when it below freezing outside. I am so thankful I do not have to worry about where my trash goes and that I do not have to take care of it myself.
77. A gift at noon - my husband and I reconciling after a fight we had this morning. It was a rough morning but the day ended on a good note. It was also an opportunity for me to have a good discussion with my almost 13 year old about repentance and confession. The Lord really pricked his heart about an issue.
78. A gift after dark - reading the Bible every night to my 11 year old boy. It has become a routine for us and he looks forward to it every night. I love discussing the passages with him.
I love Carl because he is making us communicating better a priority and we working on making our relationship stronger than ever.
76. A gift before dawn- the sounds of the garbage truck picking up our trash and recycling. I am thankful for their 5a.m. wake up calls, especially this week when it below freezing outside. I am so thankful I do not have to worry about where my trash goes and that I do not have to take care of it myself.
77. A gift at noon - my husband and I reconciling after a fight we had this morning. It was a rough morning but the day ended on a good note. It was also an opportunity for me to have a good discussion with my almost 13 year old about repentance and confession. The Lord really pricked his heart about an issue.
78. A gift after dark - reading the Bible every night to my 11 year old boy. It has become a routine for us and he looks forward to it every night. I love discussing the passages with him.
I love Carl because he is making us communicating better a priority and we working on making our relationship stronger than ever.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Stuck
This week I literally have been stuck in a rut. I have been off my schedule and that totally and completely derailed my consistency. I also had some discouraging news this week from a doctor. My mom has always said that it takes 3 days to get back on your feet after bad news. She is absolutely right. It has taken me 3 days but now I am ready to get back on track with my mission to grow in The Lord this year. I will not allow this week to make me fall. I will keep on track. So, I need to get back into the 31 questions. I am very far behind now.
Today's question is : what is one new way I can be a blessing to my pastor is year?
This is kind of a difficult question for me as we do not have a pastor. We have elders who lead our church and specific men take turns leading the services. I think the best thing I can do for them is to pray for them daily. I need to keep a list of who is serving for the upcoming week and pray for them. I also need to keep a list of the elders and pray for them everyday. Praying for Chris and April in Thailand is also something I think I need to add to my daily prayer list. I need to write it down and pray every day. I think writing a note to the wife of whoever is leading my be something I should consider. I know when Carl has had to lead the service that I prayed for and wanted to help him any way I could. I need to get my prayer journal right after this and add a page that reminds to pray for the elders and men in the church who are leading and for their wives to encourage them.
Three things I am thankful for.
Yesterday:
70. The blue sky on a warm, spring day where my children and I can go for a walk. Especially the first one after a long, hard, cold winter. I look forward to those days on days like today when the wind is howling and the temperature is in the 20's.
71. The blue of the sapphire is my engagement ring. It is my favorite gemstone. I love that my husband designed my ring and had it custom made. Every part has a meaning and tells a story.
72. The blue ocean water. Living near the Atlantic Ocean all my life has been such a blessing. I have visited every year. I love the peaceful sounds of the ocean waves. I have found such peace there and my words on a page seem to flow better at the ocean. I love going, even in the winter.
Today:
73. Borrowed- the books that we can get from the library. How awesome is it that we live in a country that we can go to the library and get most any book we want. I am especially thankful for a mother who buys books and lets me borrow them any time I want. She has a wonderful collection at her home.
74. Found- a new joy for my children this year. I have a renewed appreciation and joy for them as I have drawn closer to God. I am enjoying them more and the changes in them is amazing. Also, a renewed love for my wonderful husband.
75. Inherited - my mother has always been a reader and a writer. Words have been something she has always been good at. Whether something like that is genetic or not, she passed her love for the written word to me. She has always encouraged me to write. Last year for Christmas she gave me a wonderful gift filled with memories from my childhood. She wrote me a beautiful letter encouraging me to write down my memories for my children. She had a brain tumor a few years ago and has lost some of her memory. She now wishes she had written more things down.
I love Carl because he came home early so I would not have to worry about driving on the roads after they got really bad. Thanks sweetie.
Today's question is : what is one new way I can be a blessing to my pastor is year?
This is kind of a difficult question for me as we do not have a pastor. We have elders who lead our church and specific men take turns leading the services. I think the best thing I can do for them is to pray for them daily. I need to keep a list of who is serving for the upcoming week and pray for them. I also need to keep a list of the elders and pray for them everyday. Praying for Chris and April in Thailand is also something I think I need to add to my daily prayer list. I need to write it down and pray every day. I think writing a note to the wife of whoever is leading my be something I should consider. I know when Carl has had to lead the service that I prayed for and wanted to help him any way I could. I need to get my prayer journal right after this and add a page that reminds to pray for the elders and men in the church who are leading and for their wives to encourage them.
Three things I am thankful for.
Yesterday:
70. The blue sky on a warm, spring day where my children and I can go for a walk. Especially the first one after a long, hard, cold winter. I look forward to those days on days like today when the wind is howling and the temperature is in the 20's.
71. The blue of the sapphire is my engagement ring. It is my favorite gemstone. I love that my husband designed my ring and had it custom made. Every part has a meaning and tells a story.
72. The blue ocean water. Living near the Atlantic Ocean all my life has been such a blessing. I have visited every year. I love the peaceful sounds of the ocean waves. I have found such peace there and my words on a page seem to flow better at the ocean. I love going, even in the winter.
Today:
73. Borrowed- the books that we can get from the library. How awesome is it that we live in a country that we can go to the library and get most any book we want. I am especially thankful for a mother who buys books and lets me borrow them any time I want. She has a wonderful collection at her home.
74. Found- a new joy for my children this year. I have a renewed appreciation and joy for them as I have drawn closer to God. I am enjoying them more and the changes in them is amazing. Also, a renewed love for my wonderful husband.
75. Inherited - my mother has always been a reader and a writer. Words have been something she has always been good at. Whether something like that is genetic or not, she passed her love for the written word to me. She has always encouraged me to write. Last year for Christmas she gave me a wonderful gift filled with memories from my childhood. She wrote me a beautiful letter encouraging me to write down my memories for my children. She had a brain tumor a few years ago and has lost some of her memory. She now wishes she had written more things down.
I love Carl because he came home early so I would not have to worry about driving on the roads after they got really bad. Thanks sweetie.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Letting Go
Today was a day for letting go. I have been dealing with something with regard to one of the children since he was very little. He has seen multiple specialists and everyone has agreed that there was something wrong but no one would say what it was. We saw specialists at our pediatrician s office, and several at UNC. He was diagnosed with several things but in my heart I knew that there was something more. I knew what it was but I could not get the right diagnosis. I knew that once I had this diagnosis that it would open a door to the therapy and help this child needs. I made an appointment with a doctor who is considered to be THE specialist in diagnosing this particular problem. We had an appointment today with her. I was prepared to hear her diagnosis of what I knew already and move on to getting help for my child. I was not prepared for what she told us. What I thought it was she said it was not. She said it was just what we already knew he had been diagnosed with. I was devastated. Was I wrong all this time? I have been second guessing myself all day. I feel like such a bad mother because I was sure I knew what the problem was. I have just been upset all day because now I am right back where I was before. I have a child who needs help and I have to figure out how to do that on my own. Now begins the research of trying to fix the problems he has on my own. Diet changes, maybe. More structure, definitely. Lots of patience and time spent working with this child one on one. Trying to balance that with helping 3 other children who tend to have problems too. Trying to deal with the social aspects of this problem. I just felt deflated because I have other people say that my child has this particular problem that the doctor said he does not have. The thing i need to remember is, he is still the same kid he was yesterday. He still has these issues and will for the rest of his life. I guess it is just time to let it go and move on to helping him myself. I have been doing that his whole life, now I guess I just need to step it up a little. A lot of people have asked me why I would want this diagnosis for my child. Here is my reason. We live in a world that watches each other. I have had people ask me what condition this particular child had. I have always told them what he has been diagnosed with already knowing in my heart it was something more. I would have liked to have been able to tell them a real answer. When I tell them what he has been diagnosed with, they look at me weird because he acts differently than any child I have ever known with what they say he has. I especially would have liked to have told some family members who treat this child differently. I know things will be okay. I guess I am just venting a little. The Lord has sent me peace today but it keeps being swallowed up with Satan's attempts to discourage me. I need to keep my mind focused on things of God so I can continue to have peace. The Lord gave me a phrase from a song today that I have been clinging to. "Every gift that I receive you determined just for me, but nothing I desire compares with You." I have just been playing this song over and over today. This child is such a special gift. God knew that I needed him and he needed me. It was determined by God for me to be his mom because The Lord knew that I would take care of him and fight for him and protect him and teach him. He is my sweet boy and will forever love him and I think that God made him for a special purpose. He is unique and there is no one like him. He makes me smile and has such a sweet spirit that does not want to see anyone in pain. He is my constant companion and probably will be most of his life. I pray that God would reveal to both of us the wonderful plan He has for this child.
Three things I am thankful for:
61. A gift in the sky-Orion constellation. With 6 boys, we love the soldier with his knife/sword. We look for it every night. My husband's brother is Ryan and we were pointing out Orion one night in the car. One of my littles called out from the back of the van, " I don't see Uncle Ryan." Too funny.
62. A gift in water - Falls Lake, where we get our water from, is full and looks awesome. I have seen it almost empty during a drought.
63. A gift in memory - the meek and quiet spirit of my grandmother, Hester Holder. She died this summer. May I be like her in the way she never rose her voice to her children. I have one of her pearl necklaces that was given to me at her funeral. All the daughters and granddaughters received a piece of jewelry that belonged to her.
64. A gift wrinkled - the hands of my mother reaching out to hold my 1 year old daughter.
65. The smooth, clear skin of my daughters arms wrapped around her BaBa's neck tightly.
66. My mother bought me a really soft blanket for my birthday. The kids call it my special blanket. Tonight I could not stop shivering. I unfolded the blanket, which is always on the back of my headboard and now I am all nice and toasty. Thank goodness for mothers who buy warm, snuggly blankets.
67. In Christ I find peace. Today has been a day of disappointment and letting go of something I have held on to for years. I am still struggling but He has sent me peace today through songs.
68. In Christ I find satisfaction in my life. Right where I am is exactly where God wants me. Even in my disappointment today, He is all I ever need.
69. In Christ I find purpose. Every gift I have been given has been determined to be just right for me by God himself. Being a mother to two children who have severe ADHD and two others with other problems is a struggle but God knew I was the right mom for these children. I am their mom because God knew that it was the best thing for me and them.
I love Carl because he is sensitive to when I am upset and gives me the time and space I need to get myself together.
Three things I am thankful for:
61. A gift in the sky-Orion constellation. With 6 boys, we love the soldier with his knife/sword. We look for it every night. My husband's brother is Ryan and we were pointing out Orion one night in the car. One of my littles called out from the back of the van, " I don't see Uncle Ryan." Too funny.
62. A gift in water - Falls Lake, where we get our water from, is full and looks awesome. I have seen it almost empty during a drought.
63. A gift in memory - the meek and quiet spirit of my grandmother, Hester Holder. She died this summer. May I be like her in the way she never rose her voice to her children. I have one of her pearl necklaces that was given to me at her funeral. All the daughters and granddaughters received a piece of jewelry that belonged to her.
64. A gift wrinkled - the hands of my mother reaching out to hold my 1 year old daughter.
65. The smooth, clear skin of my daughters arms wrapped around her BaBa's neck tightly.
66. My mother bought me a really soft blanket for my birthday. The kids call it my special blanket. Tonight I could not stop shivering. I unfolded the blanket, which is always on the back of my headboard and now I am all nice and toasty. Thank goodness for mothers who buy warm, snuggly blankets.
67. In Christ I find peace. Today has been a day of disappointment and letting go of something I have held on to for years. I am still struggling but He has sent me peace today through songs.
68. In Christ I find satisfaction in my life. Right where I am is exactly where God wants me. Even in my disappointment today, He is all I ever need.
69. In Christ I find purpose. Every gift I have been given has been determined to be just right for me by God himself. Being a mother to two children who have severe ADHD and two others with other problems is a struggle but God knew I was the right mom for these children. I am their mom because God knew that it was the best thing for me and them.
I love Carl because he is sensitive to when I am upset and gives me the time and space I need to get myself together.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
My Job
What is the most important thing that I can do to improve the quality of my work life this year?
I always joke with people that I have a job but I just don't get paid. Actually I do. But my paycheck comes in the form of kisses and hugs. I personally think that is the best paycheck in the world. I was standing in line today at Harris Teeter and the cashier said something about coming in to work. I made the comment that I have not had a job since 1998. Wow! The words coming out Of my mouth astounded me. I have been a stay at home mom of 15 years. Wow! Like I said before I do have a job and it is a hard one. I don't get lunch breaks or coffee breaks. I sometimes don't even get bathroom breaks. I am constantly on the go from sun up to sun down. I have 8 people that I am completely responsible for with me at all times. I am in charge of feeding them, clothing them, and making sure that their educational needs are all met. Wow! I do get paid in kisses and squeezes and drawings of me in stick figure. What more could I ask for? I know that there are times when I get frustrated and angry at my job, but this is where God has me right now. I am the mother of 8 and wife to one.
So, what can I do to improve my job this year? I can purpose in my heart the reason why I am doing what I am doing. I need to remember that I am right where God wants me to be. I need to remember that he never gives us anything we cannot handle and he equips us with everything we need to be successful right where he has placed us. This is what I need to remember when my children are sick and throwing up. This is what I need to remember when a child yells at me and tells me that they hate me. This is what I need to remember when a child had pooped his pants because he said he forgot. I need to put this all in writing and then look at it every morning. This is exactly where God wants me and he will give me the strength to be victorious.
Three things I am thankful for
Three gifts close up:
58. The sheer joy on my husbands face while he was playing with our little girl tonight.
59. The smile on her face at being close to mommy and daddy.
60. Paula Dean's peanut butter cup brownie s'mores made from scratch by my 13 year old baker boy. And eating them while watching the Ravens/patriots game. Go Ravens.
I love Carl because he enjoys watching football almost as much as I do. Go Ravens!
I always joke with people that I have a job but I just don't get paid. Actually I do. But my paycheck comes in the form of kisses and hugs. I personally think that is the best paycheck in the world. I was standing in line today at Harris Teeter and the cashier said something about coming in to work. I made the comment that I have not had a job since 1998. Wow! The words coming out Of my mouth astounded me. I have been a stay at home mom of 15 years. Wow! Like I said before I do have a job and it is a hard one. I don't get lunch breaks or coffee breaks. I sometimes don't even get bathroom breaks. I am constantly on the go from sun up to sun down. I have 8 people that I am completely responsible for with me at all times. I am in charge of feeding them, clothing them, and making sure that their educational needs are all met. Wow! I do get paid in kisses and squeezes and drawings of me in stick figure. What more could I ask for? I know that there are times when I get frustrated and angry at my job, but this is where God has me right now. I am the mother of 8 and wife to one.
So, what can I do to improve my job this year? I can purpose in my heart the reason why I am doing what I am doing. I need to remember that I am right where God wants me to be. I need to remember that he never gives us anything we cannot handle and he equips us with everything we need to be successful right where he has placed us. This is what I need to remember when my children are sick and throwing up. This is what I need to remember when a child yells at me and tells me that they hate me. This is what I need to remember when a child had pooped his pants because he said he forgot. I need to put this all in writing and then look at it every morning. This is exactly where God wants me and he will give me the strength to be victorious.
Three things I am thankful for
Three gifts close up:
58. The sheer joy on my husbands face while he was playing with our little girl tonight.
59. The smile on her face at being close to mommy and daddy.
60. Paula Dean's peanut butter cup brownie s'mores made from scratch by my 13 year old baker boy. And eating them while watching the Ravens/patriots game. Go Ravens.
I love Carl because he enjoys watching football almost as much as I do. Go Ravens!
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