3 Gifts in Weakness.
571. My struggles with anger. I fight every day to not succumb to the rise of frustration and anger that wells up in me. I often sit and wonder how I became a screamer. I have had victory in some areas. Some days are better than others. I continue to find that the more I pray and the closer I get to Him that the more I rely on Him and have victory. I am finding myself being calm more in the face of stress and frustration. I pray that the victories will soon outweigh the failures.
572. My fight to find and keep joy every day. I am so weary of making my blessings into burdens. I am tired of choosing fear over joy. I let the stress and frustration take hold in my life. I pass that onto my children as we do not have a joyful home. I am striving to replace the fear and stress with joy and thanksgiving. When I let the stresses of the day overcome me then it is like I am saying that God is not strong enough. It comes down to faith. When I choose fear, I have a lack of faith. I need to look for the things in my life that are joyful. I need to count my blessings and spend much time with the Lord. That is where my joy comes from.
573. My failures as a wife. There have been so many times that I have failed Carl. I have not been the help meet that he needs. I have been wallowing in my own self pity and have neglected the needs of my husband. I am weary of failure. I am so tired with mediocrity. I want to rise to victory. I just seem to fail all the time. I do realize though that I need to take the action first. Submission always begins with the one who is supposed to be submitting. I cannot wait for a certain behavior or action from Carl in order for me to take action. My action should come first regardless on what Carl says or does.
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Monday, July 1, 2013
Love- July 1, 2013
3 Gifts Loved
344. i love my husband with all my heart. I pray every morning that The Lord would grow my love towards my husband. I want to be the proper helpmeet that he needs. I need to always remember to keep building a relationship with him. There will come a day when the kids are gone and he and I can have all the time in the world to spend together. I cannot wait. Not that I do not love spending time with my children. I tell them all the time "I loved your father first and I love him the most." May this statement always ring true.
345. I love all of my children. Each one is unique and such a wonderful blessing. Each one has a special place in my heart. Alex is my sweet young man, William is my reliable and helpful soul, Nathan is my hugger and encourager, Esther is my little mommy helper, Daniel is my sensitive soul, Sam is my love bug, Caleb makes me smile, and Tirzah is my snuggle bug.
346. I love my Bible. What an awesome privilege it is to have not just one, but multiple copies of the Word of God in multiple translations. I know there are people in the world who have never held a copy of the word of God in their hands. Some do not even have a written language. I am blessed to hold the Word of God in my hands and read it and study it. I take it for granted every day that I am able t open a Bible. Let me not forget what an awesome privilege it is.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Grafting - April 25, 2013
My brother in law is a wise man. He has been gifted with the awesome ability to speak so the common man can understand him. He is not an uneducated man. He graduated from the Naval Academy and has gone on to get extensive biblical training. He is one of the most well educated men about the Bible that I know. Yet, when he opens his mouth to speak about what The Lord has taught him you cannot help but hang on his every word. He has a southern twang from being raised from in Nebo, North Carlolina and it is interesting just hearing him talk at all. This past Sunday was the first time that I really have heard him speak. I attended my parents church and he taught in a Sunday School class I attended. The entire time he spoke the entire class was hanging on his every word. What he preached was something I already knew but had never heard it applied like he did. He told us that his father and grandfather had the awesome ability to take things in nature and make them apply to biblical principles. Wow! He told me later that he grew up believing that this is how most people were. I am lucky to have a father-in-law who has the same gift. It is not that common at all. Michael has that gift, too.
He taught that class on the idea of grafting fruit trees. He told us that when you take a branch and graft it to a root, that the seed produced will always be what the root is. You can graft a red delicious apple branch onto a crab apple root and the seed produced from the red delicious apple will be a crab apple seed. In fact, that is the most common root. If you take an apple seed from the apples you buy in the grocery store and plant it, it most likely will produce a crab apple tree. Amazing. I guess I had never thought about it. You can take a pear branch and graft it and you will still get a crab apple seed. He told us that as Christians we will always produce seeds to the root we are grafted in. If we are grafted into Christ then we should produce the fruit of Christ. That fruit is love, joy, peace, patience and so on. It was like a light bulb went on over peoples heads all over the room. I heard a lot of "oh's". He asked us point blank what kind of fruit we were producing. He also talked about pruning too and how that applies to the Christian life.
He also talked about how we should not see our children grafted into our branch but into the vine or the root. I need to be pointing them to the root, Christ and not have them believe that there is anything that I, as their mother, can do that will save them. It is a personal decision between them and God.
There was one other thing he talked about that I have been thinking about since then. He was talking about how God called him to the mission field. He told how God had been working on his heart for a year or two and how he finally decided that he did not want his children to see him, as a father, tell God no. He knew that if he told God no, then when God called Isaiah and Abbey that they would say no just like he had. That really struck a chord with me. I have told God no many times and I am seeing the results of that in my children. The Lord has been working on my heart about some things and I have just kept pushing those thoughts away thinking up every excuse to not do what The Lord is telling me to do. This whole mission conference has convinced me that I can no longer tell God no. THere are some things that I need to be patient about as our family is not in a place to accomplish some of the things that I feel led to do. I know though that The Lord is preparing my heart and the hearts of those in my family. There are many things though that I can be doing. Is it scary? Yes. It requires me to get out of comfort zone. It requires me putting myself out there to be ridiculed and confronted.
I told my kids in the car on the way home from church the other day that I do not want to get up to heaven and stand before God and have him say, yes, I did things for His name but I was supposed to do so much more. I want to take the gifts that God has given me and use them for His glory and honor. I am so thankful for all The Lord has done for me and I want to spend my life serving Him. I want my children to look back at their mother's life and remember me as a woman who did not tell God no.
He taught that class on the idea of grafting fruit trees. He told us that when you take a branch and graft it to a root, that the seed produced will always be what the root is. You can graft a red delicious apple branch onto a crab apple root and the seed produced from the red delicious apple will be a crab apple seed. In fact, that is the most common root. If you take an apple seed from the apples you buy in the grocery store and plant it, it most likely will produce a crab apple tree. Amazing. I guess I had never thought about it. You can take a pear branch and graft it and you will still get a crab apple seed. He told us that as Christians we will always produce seeds to the root we are grafted in. If we are grafted into Christ then we should produce the fruit of Christ. That fruit is love, joy, peace, patience and so on. It was like a light bulb went on over peoples heads all over the room. I heard a lot of "oh's". He asked us point blank what kind of fruit we were producing. He also talked about pruning too and how that applies to the Christian life.
He also talked about how we should not see our children grafted into our branch but into the vine or the root. I need to be pointing them to the root, Christ and not have them believe that there is anything that I, as their mother, can do that will save them. It is a personal decision between them and God.
There was one other thing he talked about that I have been thinking about since then. He was talking about how God called him to the mission field. He told how God had been working on his heart for a year or two and how he finally decided that he did not want his children to see him, as a father, tell God no. He knew that if he told God no, then when God called Isaiah and Abbey that they would say no just like he had. That really struck a chord with me. I have told God no many times and I am seeing the results of that in my children. The Lord has been working on my heart about some things and I have just kept pushing those thoughts away thinking up every excuse to not do what The Lord is telling me to do. This whole mission conference has convinced me that I can no longer tell God no. THere are some things that I need to be patient about as our family is not in a place to accomplish some of the things that I feel led to do. I know though that The Lord is preparing my heart and the hearts of those in my family. There are many things though that I can be doing. Is it scary? Yes. It requires me to get out of comfort zone. It requires me putting myself out there to be ridiculed and confronted.
I told my kids in the car on the way home from church the other day that I do not want to get up to heaven and stand before God and have him say, yes, I did things for His name but I was supposed to do so much more. I want to take the gifts that God has given me and use them for His glory and honor. I am so thankful for all The Lord has done for me and I want to spend my life serving Him. I want my children to look back at their mother's life and remember me as a woman who did not tell God no.
Monday, April 8, 2013
The wait - 4/8/13
Three gifts waited for:
292. am what is known as a 42 weeker when it comes to my pregnancies. Only one of my children has come on time and that was because she was a planned c-section. I have had to wait those extra two weeks and at times I have not been very patient. Each child was born in God's perfect timing, not mine. I am glad for the time that each child was in my womb, growing and being prepared for birth.
293. Waiting for word from the Army about deployment. The unit he was supposed to go on in June no longer needs him but now another unit leaving in August has him on the list. Ah, the joys of being in limbo. It has had a good effect though. It has made Carl and I realize that we need to get some things in order to be prepared for things. He is in charge of the finances and I need to take a bigger role in it.
294. Waiting for The Lord to move. It seems that I have been praying for something for quite a while. It seems like The Lord is not working in this prayer. I know he is though. It is teaching me great patience as I would like this prayer to be answered immediately. The Lord is teaching me wonderful things in the waiting. As I wait for The Lord to work on this persons heart, my own heart is being renewed and blessed.
292. am what is known as a 42 weeker when it comes to my pregnancies. Only one of my children has come on time and that was because she was a planned c-section. I have had to wait those extra two weeks and at times I have not been very patient. Each child was born in God's perfect timing, not mine. I am glad for the time that each child was in my womb, growing and being prepared for birth.
293. Waiting for word from the Army about deployment. The unit he was supposed to go on in June no longer needs him but now another unit leaving in August has him on the list. Ah, the joys of being in limbo. It has had a good effect though. It has made Carl and I realize that we need to get some things in order to be prepared for things. He is in charge of the finances and I need to take a bigger role in it.
294. Waiting for The Lord to move. It seems that I have been praying for something for quite a while. It seems like The Lord is not working in this prayer. I know he is though. It is teaching me great patience as I would like this prayer to be answered immediately. The Lord is teaching me wonderful things in the waiting. As I wait for The Lord to work on this persons heart, my own heart is being renewed and blessed.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Nailed Together - April 6,2013
Three things nailed together
286. The walls of my house which we saw last night. We had to cut a hole in the wall due to a leak in my bathtub. We had water all in our upstairs bathroom and bedroom floor. I am so thankful for a roof over my head and a wonderful house at that. I know sometimes I complain about it not being big enough or the laundry room or the front room but I am so thankful for the blessing we have in this house.
287. The hope chest at the foot of my bed. Right now it holds pictures and mementos from my childhood and from my children. I have notebooks of poetry and drawings and other various things that I and my children have done over the years. I hope to pass it onto my daughter one day filled with the things that she needs to start her own household.
288. The shelves in my mothers house that holds all the families pictures. My two sisters and I have 12 children between us and the shelves are quite full. I love looking at all the pictures as I am the only one of the sisters that live near my parents. My other sister is in Colorado and my little sister is traveling all over the country on deputation to be missionaries to Spain. I miss them.
This day also reminds me of the cross that was nailed together and the nails that were pounded into my Savior's hands and feet. How blessed we are because of the sacrifice that he made on the cross for us. I am reminded of the words of a song I heard this morning. There is nothing that I can do that cannot be covered by what Christ did on the cross. All my sin is covered and forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ. Amen and Amen!!!
286. The walls of my house which we saw last night. We had to cut a hole in the wall due to a leak in my bathtub. We had water all in our upstairs bathroom and bedroom floor. I am so thankful for a roof over my head and a wonderful house at that. I know sometimes I complain about it not being big enough or the laundry room or the front room but I am so thankful for the blessing we have in this house.
287. The hope chest at the foot of my bed. Right now it holds pictures and mementos from my childhood and from my children. I have notebooks of poetry and drawings and other various things that I and my children have done over the years. I hope to pass it onto my daughter one day filled with the things that she needs to start her own household.
288. The shelves in my mothers house that holds all the families pictures. My two sisters and I have 12 children between us and the shelves are quite full. I love looking at all the pictures as I am the only one of the sisters that live near my parents. My other sister is in Colorado and my little sister is traveling all over the country on deputation to be missionaries to Spain. I miss them.
This day also reminds me of the cross that was nailed together and the nails that were pounded into my Savior's hands and feet. How blessed we are because of the sacrifice that he made on the cross for us. I am reminded of the words of a song I heard this morning. There is nothing that I can do that cannot be covered by what Christ did on the cross. All my sin is covered and forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ. Amen and Amen!!!
Friday, April 5, 2013
No Motivation and Moving Forward from Where I Am Right Now - April 5, 2013
I have been trying to get back into the habit of blogging again but I find myself having no motivation whatsoever. All I want to do right now is take a nap. I have been trying to work on a feasible schedule as the kids and I have been suffering lately from chaos all day long. I have put a lot of time and energy into that. I just seem to be in a state of ... nothing. I don't want to do anything or be around anyone. I just want to ... be... alone. Does that sound weird? I guess it does. For the past 15 years I have not had a decent moment to myself. My days have been filled with diapers and crying and laundry and fixing meals and all the other various duties of a mother to 8 children. I feel almost like I have lost myself in trying to help my children discover who they are in Christ. I am not one of those women into the whole "you have to take time for yourself" movement. Yes, I do need to get by myself but what I am talking about is the child of God I am supposed to be. I have lost sight of that. I have been so intent on raising my kids to be godly young men and women (and have drastically failed by the way) that I have lost sight of the whole idea that more is caught than taught. I have let my relationship with God fall into disrepair all for the sake of my kids. That may sound like a good thing to some but not to me. If my relationship with Christ is not what it is supposed to be then my children are the ones who are going to suffer the most of all. How could I, a women who grew up in the church, miss this? I know all the things I am supposed to do and all the right things to say. I know what clothes to wear so as not to offend anyone and I know what to say to my children in public to give people the impression that I have it all together. If people only saw how I truly speak to my children. I have been so convicted of my behavior and my walk with God lately. Satan is using this to discourage me and bring me to a place that I do not want to be in, a pit ... of despair. It is so hard getting out of a pit once you are in it. The only way is to reach up for the hand of my Savior and allow him, in his strength, to pull me out. I cannot do it on my own.
All of that to say. I am not going to worry about what I have not done. All the catch up can wait. I am going to start right from where I am. The catch up may come later but for right now I am going to start at this moment. So back to my joy dare. I am going to start with today's assignment and if I get a chance to catch up I will but I am not going to stress over it.
Three Gifts at 11AM, 2PM, and 6PM.
283. 11 AM The fact that today is pay day and I am at the bank getting our budget money out. How blessed I am that we have money coming in every month that provides for our family of 10.
284. 2 PM The sounds of the piano being played. Today is piano lessons and Esther is playing right now. I am so thankful for Ellie who drives to my house to give the kids lessons. What a blessing she is and she loves all her piano students. What a godly young woman she is.
285 .6 PM Last night I was on my way to our Keepers meeting. Esther and I enjoy our time of just the girls. It was great to see her get so excited about learning how to be a godly young lady. I thank the Lord for the older ladies in our church who strive to be like the Proverbs 31 woman. I also am thankful for the young ladies who are growing up with Esther and encourage her to walk closer to the Lord.
All of that to say. I am not going to worry about what I have not done. All the catch up can wait. I am going to start right from where I am. The catch up may come later but for right now I am going to start at this moment. So back to my joy dare. I am going to start with today's assignment and if I get a chance to catch up I will but I am not going to stress over it.
Three Gifts at 11AM, 2PM, and 6PM.
283. 11 AM The fact that today is pay day and I am at the bank getting our budget money out. How blessed I am that we have money coming in every month that provides for our family of 10.
284. 2 PM The sounds of the piano being played. Today is piano lessons and Esther is playing right now. I am so thankful for Ellie who drives to my house to give the kids lessons. What a blessing she is and she loves all her piano students. What a godly young woman she is.
285 .6 PM Last night I was on my way to our Keepers meeting. Esther and I enjoy our time of just the girls. It was great to see her get so excited about learning how to be a godly young lady. I thank the Lord for the older ladies in our church who strive to be like the Proverbs 31 woman. I also am thankful for the young ladies who are growing up with Esther and encourage her to walk closer to the Lord.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Major Catch Up #1
Wow, I did not realize how far behind I was. I was doing so well and then the vacation came up. I had great plans to keep up the blogging while on vacation. With news of the deployment I went kind of in a downward spiral. Things just got away from me as I dealt with packing and the deployment news. I have determined to get back on track. Bear with me as I catch up on my joy dares. There are quite a few so I am thinking about dividing them between several posts. I don't want to overwhelm anyone, including myself. So here is the beginning of the catch up posts. I have 22 joy dares to catch up on.
3 Gifts in the Kitchen
196. My rice cooker. I put off buying on for years thinking they were just a frivolous tool. I got one on sale for $10 at Target and I fell in love. It made my dinners so much easier because I did not have to babysit the rice. I just turned it on and went on with other things.
197. My green Correll dishes. I got them for my wedding and they have held up to eight kids and 15 years of meals. The kids have dropped them on the floor and they are fine. I love the durability of them and the kids think it is cool that I got them as a wedding present.
198. My sweet Tirzah girl and Caleb boy asking me to dance with them. I like to put on music when I am cooking or cleaning the kitchen. Caleb or Tirzah will inevitably come to me and ask to dance to the music. How can I resist there pleas. It does my heart good to twirl them around the kitchen.
3 Gifts Loud
199. Uh, my life. With 8 children and a husband it is rarely quiet. Ever. It reminds how blessed I am to have the family I have. My husband has a saying for our family. Embrace the chaos.
200. The birds as they come out in the spring. When I walk outside sometimes it is all you can hear. How wonderful it is to live in an area where we have multiple birds come to our yard.
201. The singing of the saints together on a Sunday morning. It makes me look forward to one day singing with all the saints who have gone on before and my dear Savior.
3 Gifts Carved
202. Willow Tree figurines. I love to look at the few ones that I have. They each hold a special meaning for me.
203. The birdhouses that my dad makes. It means that he is healthy enough to build them. He loves to do it and it keeps him busy. I especially like the one he built with wood from our old house in Baltimore.
204. Archers Monument in Utah. How awesome that God carved used the wind and rain to carve those beautiful archers. It was magnificent and a wonderful display of God's power and creativity.
3 Gifts in Christ
205. Life. Through his death and resurrection, we have life. That is the ultimate gift.
206. Peace. With him by our side we know that whatever trials come our way that he will use it for our good and his glory. He promises us that peace.
207. Comfort. When we are discouraged and broken he carries us and comforts us.
3 Gifts Read
208. The greatest book ever written. The Holy Bible.
209. My mother who was the one who taught me how to read. She instilled in me a love for the written word. She writes frequently and I love to read anything she has penned.
210. The letters that my sweet man wrote to me while he was deployed to Kuwait in 2004.
A Gift in Wind, Water, and in White
211. The cool breezes in Florida as we vacationed. It kept the temperatures down and the kids happy. It was great to feel it on your face.
212. The pool at the campground and hotel in Florida. The kids loved swimming in them. Riding the boats to the park was awesome.
213. The white of the Tae Kwon Do uniforms my kids and husband wear. I am so thankful that we have an opportunity to have the family participate in the program. I am thankful it is a christian based program that glorifies God.
3 Gifts Round
214. The picture I took in Epcot of the big ball with the flag flying in front of it. It reminded me of how blessed we are to be living in a country where we have the freedom to worship God, for now anyway.
215. Our trampoline. The kids have gotten so many hours of enjoyment from it. It has been such a blessing to the whole family.
216. The round pencil holder on my school desk. It reminds of the awesome job I have in educating my children. What a wonderful thing it is to homeschool.
This seems like a good place to stop for now. Tirzah is up from her nap and the kids are wanting a snack. I better go monitor that and start dinner.
3 Gifts in the Kitchen
196. My rice cooker. I put off buying on for years thinking they were just a frivolous tool. I got one on sale for $10 at Target and I fell in love. It made my dinners so much easier because I did not have to babysit the rice. I just turned it on and went on with other things.
197. My green Correll dishes. I got them for my wedding and they have held up to eight kids and 15 years of meals. The kids have dropped them on the floor and they are fine. I love the durability of them and the kids think it is cool that I got them as a wedding present.
198. My sweet Tirzah girl and Caleb boy asking me to dance with them. I like to put on music when I am cooking or cleaning the kitchen. Caleb or Tirzah will inevitably come to me and ask to dance to the music. How can I resist there pleas. It does my heart good to twirl them around the kitchen.
3 Gifts Loud
199. Uh, my life. With 8 children and a husband it is rarely quiet. Ever. It reminds how blessed I am to have the family I have. My husband has a saying for our family. Embrace the chaos.
200. The birds as they come out in the spring. When I walk outside sometimes it is all you can hear. How wonderful it is to live in an area where we have multiple birds come to our yard.
201. The singing of the saints together on a Sunday morning. It makes me look forward to one day singing with all the saints who have gone on before and my dear Savior.
3 Gifts Carved
202. Willow Tree figurines. I love to look at the few ones that I have. They each hold a special meaning for me.
203. The birdhouses that my dad makes. It means that he is healthy enough to build them. He loves to do it and it keeps him busy. I especially like the one he built with wood from our old house in Baltimore.
204. Archers Monument in Utah. How awesome that God carved used the wind and rain to carve those beautiful archers. It was magnificent and a wonderful display of God's power and creativity.
3 Gifts in Christ
205. Life. Through his death and resurrection, we have life. That is the ultimate gift.
206. Peace. With him by our side we know that whatever trials come our way that he will use it for our good and his glory. He promises us that peace.
207. Comfort. When we are discouraged and broken he carries us and comforts us.
3 Gifts Read
208. The greatest book ever written. The Holy Bible.
209. My mother who was the one who taught me how to read. She instilled in me a love for the written word. She writes frequently and I love to read anything she has penned.
210. The letters that my sweet man wrote to me while he was deployed to Kuwait in 2004.
A Gift in Wind, Water, and in White
211. The cool breezes in Florida as we vacationed. It kept the temperatures down and the kids happy. It was great to feel it on your face.
212. The pool at the campground and hotel in Florida. The kids loved swimming in them. Riding the boats to the park was awesome.
213. The white of the Tae Kwon Do uniforms my kids and husband wear. I am so thankful that we have an opportunity to have the family participate in the program. I am thankful it is a christian based program that glorifies God.
3 Gifts Round
214. The picture I took in Epcot of the big ball with the flag flying in front of it. It reminded me of how blessed we are to be living in a country where we have the freedom to worship God, for now anyway.
215. Our trampoline. The kids have gotten so many hours of enjoyment from it. It has been such a blessing to the whole family.
216. The round pencil holder on my school desk. It reminds of the awesome job I have in educating my children. What a wonderful thing it is to homeschool.
This seems like a good place to stop for now. Tirzah is up from her nap and the kids are wanting a snack. I better go monitor that and start dinner.
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