Bin Laden

I woke up this morning to the news that Osama Bin Laden was dead. I am torn though. Yes, I am glad that there is finally justice for the victims of 9/11. Yes, he was an evil man. He sinned greatly and destroyed many lives. He deserved everything he got. But I too am just as much of a sinner as he was. There are no degrees of sin in God's eyes. He is a sinner and so am I. I guess my dilemma comes in the fact that no one reached out to him with the gospel of Jesus Christ. Except for Jesus Christ and his saving grace I would be headed to the same place Osama Bin Laden is this very moment. God said that he loved the whole world and sent his son to die for everyone. Does that not include Osama and every terrorist out there? In my heart I want to rejoice and be happy but I cannot. Osama is in hell for all eternity. My heart is grieving this morning, for Osama and for all the victims of 9/11 and every terror victim Osama killed. I just have a problem with going on the Face book and seeing all the Christians gladly rejoicing that another man is in hell this morning, even if he deserves to be there by his heinous actions. Every one of us deserve to be there too. I watch all the celebrations and it reminds me of some of the Muslims rejoicing when 9/11 happened. We were all appalled and could not believe our eyes. Are we any better rejoicing now that Osama is dead? Can't we just say that he is receiving his eternal punishment now and forever and leave it at that. I just am so thankful this morning for Jesus Christ and the fact that he WILLINGLY gave up his life to save this wretched sinner and all the wretched sinners of the world. He gave his life for all, including those that have done the most horrible things we can imagine. So excuse me if I do not rejoice this morning but grieve over another soul lost to hell. I will rejoice this morning over the fact that because of Christ's sacrifice and love for me that I will never be where Osama is this very moment and for eternity. I know that some people will disagree with me but that is just what the Lord laid on my heart this morning.

A Leap of Faith

Today I had an OB appointment and so I was in the process of finding shoes for all 7 kids (why do they have to wear their good shoes to go play in the creek?) I was ready to go downstairs and get everyone in the van. Caleb loves to be carried downstairs even though he can climb down himself. I sat on the top step so he could come into my arms easier than just picking him up. (this pregnant body of mine does not do well picking up a 25 lb. wiggling child). As I sat down he launched himself into my arms with a flurry of giggles and wrapped his arms around me in a great big hug. As I carried him down the steps it came to me how much he trusts me. He relies on me to protect him and provide for all his needs. My reward is hugs and giggles and the occasional kiss. He does not say mommy yet but when he comes and climbs in my lap in the morning it is all worth it. It reminded me of my relationship with Christ. I sometimes stand at the top and half to trust that God will catch me when I jump. It may be tackling a new project or being a more submissive wife. It may even be having eight children and homeschooling. Whatever "it" is that he is calling me to I need to trust that he will provide for my every need and give me the strength to accomplish the task. I need to jump and wrap my arms around Him tight and believe that he knows it is best for me.

An Easter Grocery Store Visit

Yes, I did go to the grocery store today. We are going to cook out on the grill tonight and I needed some rolls. First, let me say that it is so weird having so much open on Easter Sunday. The roads were packed and not with people going to church. Every store was packed, even the car wash had a line of cars waiting. So not used to that. We enjoyed a wonderful time of fellowship at our new church. It was a completely different Easter service but it was wonderful having all the focus being on Christ. The kids were good but definitely ready for the almost 3 hour service to over. After our fellowship lunch we stopped by Harris Teeter on the way home. Alex was elected to be my protector in the store. Carl always wonders why the kids are so eager to go to Harris Teeter. I told him that always have free samples of cheese and produce and free cookies for the kids. I bought what I needed and stopped by the Starbucks to pick up a cool drink for Carl and I (not used to 90 degree weather on Easter). I ordered and then turned to look for Alex. I almost started to panic when I could not find him. I was relieved when I saw him at the other end of the produce section just politely taking a samples they had available. I almost told him to come by me but then I realized that he is 12 years old. I need to trust him a little more. So instead I sat down and waited for my drinks to be made. Alex came over and we had a good discussion about which samples he liked best and even offered to run and get me some. We decided that the fresh pineapple was best. It was fun just having a grown up discussion about food and talking about what recipes we wanted to try out some time at home. It just hit me that he is not a little kids any more. He is growing up a little more each day. I need to let him be on his own more as that is training him to be a man. As a boy he so wants to be a leader like his Daddy. It has been great for Alex to see Carl stepping up and taking more of a leadership role in our family. This church has really challenged our whole family in the true roles a husband, wife, and children are to have in a godly home. The kids have benefited so much from some of the changes we have implemented as a result of this church. Carl is more of a leader of our home, I am learning what a true submissive wife is and our home is no longer child led but parent led. I know I have gone off topic but the growth I see in Alex and all our children is a direct result of changes Carl and I are endeavoring to make in our family. Alex is such a sweet boy and he has improved so much lately. I just need to be sure to tell him that everyday and encourage him in the good changes I see in his life. All that from an Easter grocery store visit.

God's Best in Exchange for My Better

One of my favorite music groups was Watermark. Christy Noekels and her husband are no longer singing as Watermark and she has a solo career now. One of my favorite songs they ever sang was called Mended. It talks about God taking the broken parts of our lives and making them into something beautiful. There is one phrase of the song that makes me teary ever time I hear it. I have often thought about singing this song in church but I know that I would never last without becoming a blubbering mess. The phrase that gets me every time "You give us your best, for what we thought was better." I was listening to the song yesterday morning before that crew invaded the kitchen for breakfast. Just as that phrase was being sung Daniel, Sam, and Caleb came running down the stairs and started happily (for once) chasing each other around the kitchen table just laughing and having the best time being brothers. I thought to myself how many times I had told God that I could not handle seven children let alone 8. I have been complaining to God over what I thought was my tough lot in life with seven kids 12 and under and being pregnant. It just like God spoke to me and said "This is my best for you right now." I have in my head what I think my life should look like but God has something much better in mind. His best. Watching those three precious boys play together just reminded me that what I think is a burden is God's best. His plan is to fill the world with men and women who love Him and bring Him honor. Those three little boys could go on to become great men of God who spend their lives praising Him and bringing glory to His name. As I watched them play yesterday I thought back to finding out I was pregnant with each one. Carl had just gone back to Kuwait when I found out I was pregnant with Daniel. I cried thinking of going through 4 months of the pregnancy by myself with four little kids to look after. Carl and I were really struggling in our marriage when I found out I was pregnant with Sam. I remember thinking that I may be raising this child on my own along with 5 others. With Caleb, my dad was just recovering from leukemia and my mom had just found out she had a brain tumor. I remember thinking that I don't have time to be pregnant. What if something happens to my mom and I have to take care of my dad? Now, my parents are both still alive and Carl and I are improving our marriage day by day but that is where I was. I remember thinking that I did not want to be pregnant with each one of those precious little boys who yesterday were running around my kitchen bringing me joy. I thought about things yesterday and God gently reminded me that HE knows what he is doing and nothing is s surprise to him. I confessed those thoughts of not wanting to be pregnant a long time ago but Satan has a way of bringing them to mind every once in while and making me feel guilty. I feel guilty no longer. God has erased those thoughts as far as the east is from the west and I can now enjoy the BEST that he has so richly blessed me with. What I think may be better for me may be hindering me from receiving the Best God has in store for my life. What is in your life that is keeping you from God's BEST?

Flying By

As many of you know North Carolina was hit with some very bad weather this weekend. We are praising God for His protection in that we were spared. We are also praying for those who lost loved ones and those whose homes or property have been destroyed. One family in our church had a tornado come right through their farm. Luckily no one was injured. It was a crazy day where everyone was on edge waiting to find out where the storms were going to strike. Carl, the kids, and I spent the morning outside trying to fit some yard work in before the storms hit. Carl is in the process of building a lean to for his lawn things. It was an extremely windy day and I am talking the kind of wind that knocks your balance off. The kids spent the morning chasing toys that they had left in the yard. I sat down in a chair outside and rested for a moment. I laid my head back and just watched the sky. I can honestly say that I have never seen clouds move that fast. THese storms were moving around 50-60 miles per hour so it was incredible just to watch the clouds literally fly by. As I was watching the clouds the kids came running from the back yard to the front. It just struck me that my time with them is moving even faster that those clouds were. In the blink of an eye Alex will be on his own. It just made me realize that the time that I have with them needs to be spent well. I need to instill in them the godly character qualities that they will need to become godly young men and women who desire to serve the Lord. My time is so short and Alex turns 13 next year. Just that thought is enough to make me want to work even harder to make sure he is prepared for all the temptations and trials that will come his way. I know that my children need to make their own choices in life but I need to do everything in my power to instill in them the desire to make those choices God honoring ones.

Memory for Today - PopPop and Amazing Helicopter Rescue

Yesterday was William's birthday. He is now 11 years old. Wow! He was excited because my mom has a tradition of taking the birthday kid out to lunch and then to Toys R Us to pick out a present. William came home with a mini air chopper (a remote controlled helicopter) and a game of some sort (I still have not figured it out). He was playing with all his toys waiting for pizza to arrive. He went outside because his brothers and sister kept getting into everything. About 10 minutes later he came inside with a real dejected look on his face. He was almost in tears. He told my mom and me that he had lost his helicopter. He had been in the backyard playing with it and it had gotten caught up in a tree. We told him that after dinner we would go out and see if we could get it down. What he did not tell us is that it was about 20 feet up in a tree caught in some pine needles. After dinner my dad and I go outside and look for abut 10 minutes just trying to find it. It is a mini one so it is not even 2 inches long. When we finally found it we tried for about 20 minutes to throw things in that tree to dislodge it. It was quite comically because we had things flying all over the place. Not once did we even get close to the helicopter. The kids were all laughing. They made a game of dodging all the items we tried to throw up. My dad finally got his ladder out and was able to finally dislodge it from the tree. We all did a little victory dance. William was very grateful. I was amazed that my father who has medical problems and really should not be out on a ladder was willing to take the time and do something for William that was so important to him. My dad raised three girls and has really enjoyed having boys to play with. He sure loves his grandchildren and all the kids sure do love their PopPop.

Memory for Today - Out of my sight

We attended a family bible study on Friday night. It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. They started with a sword drill for the kids. Then they went into an hour and half long discussion on 2 Timothy. I think we got through 3 verses. The kids were all present and they outnumbered the adults. It was incredible. After the bible study the kids all gathered in the kitchen for Bible charades while the parents had a time of prayer. Then the kids came back in and performed their charade for us. We had to figure out what they were acting out. It was a blast. Then we had a great time of fellowship with the kids playing together and the parents just talking. It was great to talk to a bunch of other homeschool moms who experience the same thing I do every day in raising a large family. The one lady I spent most of the evening speaking to has 11 kids, the youngest having down syndrome. The other woman, whose home we were meeting in, has 8.
My memory for today actually came from Caleb. Making the transition to a family integrated church has been a challenge with Sam and Caleb. They have spent their entire lives going into the nursery and this church has none. Caleb was very sleepy and was just not being quiet. I was almost in tears when our gracious host came out to me and offered to set up a playpen for him in one of the bedrooms. I did not know how that was going to work because we forgot his pacifier at home. He did not settle down at first so I went to the room and just stood by the playpen rubbing his back. I then moved to the middle of the floor. Then I moved to the doorway. He was awake the entire time just watching me. I then went around the corner. The first time he could not see me he started crying. I just moved where he could see me and he settled down. I guess as long as he knew I was there he was content. As I am in this dark room a thought occurred to me. This is like our relationship with Christ. I need to get to the point that when I find myself walking away from the Lord I need to cry out. When I can't see God I need to cry out. I need to have him within my sights at all times. There have been times in my life when I have walked away not because of rebellion but because of laziness, apathy, or just busyness. In those times I need to cry out to God and look for him and seek him until I can see him again. It took that moment in that dark room with Caleb to remember that I need to work at walking close to God. It just doesn't happen. It takes effort and a lot of prayer.