Friday, April 29, 2011

A Leap of Faith

Today I had an OB appointment and so I was in the process of finding shoes for all 7 kids (why do they have to wear their good shoes to go play in the creek?) I was ready to go downstairs and get everyone in the van. Caleb loves to be carried downstairs even though he can climb down himself. I sat on the top step so he could come into my arms easier than just picking him up. (this pregnant body of mine does not do well picking up a 25 lb. wiggling child). As I sat down he launched himself into my arms with a flurry of giggles and wrapped his arms around me in a great big hug. As I carried him down the steps it came to me how much he trusts me. He relies on me to protect him and provide for all his needs. My reward is hugs and giggles and the occasional kiss. He does not say mommy yet but when he comes and climbs in my lap in the morning it is all worth it. It reminded me of my relationship with Christ. I sometimes stand at the top and half to trust that God will catch me when I jump. It may be tackling a new project or being a more submissive wife. It may even be having eight children and homeschooling. Whatever "it" is that he is calling me to I need to trust that he will provide for my every need and give me the strength to accomplish the task. I need to jump and wrap my arms around Him tight and believe that he knows it is best for me.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

An Easter Grocery Store Visit

Yes, I did go to the grocery store today. We are going to cook out on the grill tonight and I needed some rolls. First, let me say that it is so weird having so much open on Easter Sunday. The roads were packed and not with people going to church. Every store was packed, even the car wash had a line of cars waiting. So not used to that. We enjoyed a wonderful time of fellowship at our new church. It was a completely different Easter service but it was wonderful having all the focus being on Christ. The kids were good but definitely ready for the almost 3 hour service to over. After our fellowship lunch we stopped by Harris Teeter on the way home. Alex was elected to be my protector in the store. Carl always wonders why the kids are so eager to go to Harris Teeter. I told him that always have free samples of cheese and produce and free cookies for the kids. I bought what I needed and stopped by the Starbucks to pick up a cool drink for Carl and I (not used to 90 degree weather on Easter). I ordered and then turned to look for Alex. I almost started to panic when I could not find him. I was relieved when I saw him at the other end of the produce section just politely taking a samples they had available. I almost told him to come by me but then I realized that he is 12 years old. I need to trust him a little more. So instead I sat down and waited for my drinks to be made. Alex came over and we had a good discussion about which samples he liked best and even offered to run and get me some. We decided that the fresh pineapple was best. It was fun just having a grown up discussion about food and talking about what recipes we wanted to try out some time at home. It just hit me that he is not a little kids any more. He is growing up a little more each day. I need to let him be on his own more as that is training him to be a man. As a boy he so wants to be a leader like his Daddy. It has been great for Alex to see Carl stepping up and taking more of a leadership role in our family. This church has really challenged our whole family in the true roles a husband, wife, and children are to have in a godly home. The kids have benefited so much from some of the changes we have implemented as a result of this church. Carl is more of a leader of our home, I am learning what a true submissive wife is and our home is no longer child led but parent led. I know I have gone off topic but the growth I see in Alex and all our children is a direct result of changes Carl and I are endeavoring to make in our family. Alex is such a sweet boy and he has improved so much lately. I just need to be sure to tell him that everyday and encourage him in the good changes I see in his life. All that from an Easter grocery store visit.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

God's Best in Exchange for My Better

One of my favorite music groups was Watermark. Christy Noekels and her husband are no longer singing as Watermark and she has a solo career now. One of my favorite songs they ever sang was called Mended. It talks about God taking the broken parts of our lives and making them into something beautiful. There is one phrase of the song that makes me teary ever time I hear it. I have often thought about singing this song in church but I know that I would never last without becoming a blubbering mess. The phrase that gets me every time "You give us your best, for what we thought was better." I was listening to the song yesterday morning before that crew invaded the kitchen for breakfast. Just as that phrase was being sung Daniel, Sam, and Caleb came running down the stairs and started happily (for once) chasing each other around the kitchen table just laughing and having the best time being brothers. I thought to myself how many times I had told God that I could not handle seven children let alone 8. I have been complaining to God over what I thought was my tough lot in life with seven kids 12 and under and being pregnant. It just like God spoke to me and said "This is my best for you right now." I have in my head what I think my life should look like but God has something much better in mind. His best. Watching those three precious boys play together just reminded me that what I think is a burden is God's best. His plan is to fill the world with men and women who love Him and bring Him honor. Those three little boys could go on to become great men of God who spend their lives praising Him and bringing glory to His name. As I watched them play yesterday I thought back to finding out I was pregnant with each one. Carl had just gone back to Kuwait when I found out I was pregnant with Daniel. I cried thinking of going through 4 months of the pregnancy by myself with four little kids to look after. Carl and I were really struggling in our marriage when I found out I was pregnant with Sam. I remember thinking that I may be raising this child on my own along with 5 others. With Caleb, my dad was just recovering from leukemia and my mom had just found out she had a brain tumor. I remember thinking that I don't have time to be pregnant. What if something happens to my mom and I have to take care of my dad? Now, my parents are both still alive and Carl and I are improving our marriage day by day but that is where I was. I remember thinking that I did not want to be pregnant with each one of those precious little boys who yesterday were running around my kitchen bringing me joy. I thought about things yesterday and God gently reminded me that HE knows what he is doing and nothing is s surprise to him. I confessed those thoughts of not wanting to be pregnant a long time ago but Satan has a way of bringing them to mind every once in while and making me feel guilty. I feel guilty no longer. God has erased those thoughts as far as the east is from the west and I can now enjoy the BEST that he has so richly blessed me with. What I think may be better for me may be hindering me from receiving the Best God has in store for my life. What is in your life that is keeping you from God's BEST?

Monday, April 18, 2011

Flying By

As many of you know North Carolina was hit with some very bad weather this weekend. We are praising God for His protection in that we were spared. We are also praying for those who lost loved ones and those whose homes or property have been destroyed. One family in our church had a tornado come right through their farm. Luckily no one was injured. It was a crazy day where everyone was on edge waiting to find out where the storms were going to strike. Carl, the kids, and I spent the morning outside trying to fit some yard work in before the storms hit. Carl is in the process of building a lean to for his lawn things. It was an extremely windy day and I am talking the kind of wind that knocks your balance off. The kids spent the morning chasing toys that they had left in the yard. I sat down in a chair outside and rested for a moment. I laid my head back and just watched the sky. I can honestly say that I have never seen clouds move that fast. THese storms were moving around 50-60 miles per hour so it was incredible just to watch the clouds literally fly by. As I was watching the clouds the kids came running from the back yard to the front. It just struck me that my time with them is moving even faster that those clouds were. In the blink of an eye Alex will be on his own. It just made me realize that the time that I have with them needs to be spent well. I need to instill in them the godly character qualities that they will need to become godly young men and women who desire to serve the Lord. My time is so short and Alex turns 13 next year. Just that thought is enough to make me want to work even harder to make sure he is prepared for all the temptations and trials that will come his way. I know that my children need to make their own choices in life but I need to do everything in my power to instill in them the desire to make those choices God honoring ones.