Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Home Sweet Home - December 3, 2013

Oh what a sweet visit we had in Baltimore. We got to spend time with family and friends. We attended a wonderful thnaksgiving service. We also got to spend time showing some our children the places we got to go when we were their age. All in all we had a good time of fellowship with our family. We even got to stay a few extra days. Due to Carl losing his job we did not have to get home in a hurry. He does have to leave on Friday to spend a few days in California. I am going to miss him tremendously. I always miss him when he goes away. I am going to my mother's for a few days when he leaves. It is just easier to have a few extra hands. My mom does not need much of an excuse to spend timie with her grandchildren. They enjoy the time we spend there. Carl and I looked at the next few weeks on the calendar. They are busy with Carl doing a lot of military duty. That is good because it is money that we can save. It has been a huge blessing to get all the extra military duty. I am so glad becasue it has shown me that The Lord is going to provide for us. He has opened doors for Carl to actually make more money than he did when he was at McKim and Creed. What an unexpected blessing!!!  In the midst of all the military duty, Carl and I are going to try to get a few days away together. We are celebrating 16 years together this year. What an amazing thing! If you looked at all that Carl and I have gone through in these 16 years, we should not be together. We have survived moving 6 times, a move out of state, a deployment, bankrupcy, the birth of 8 children, a separation, and many other little stresses that have ruined many marriages. If not for the grace of God we would be divorced by now. WHat a testimony to the power, redemption, forgiveness, and grace of God. What a mighty thing he has done in our family.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Down Memory Lane - November 30, 2013

Today I took a walk down memory lane. I grew up in Edgewater, Maryland. I always tell people I grew up in Annapolis because it is a town most people are familar with and the towns are close. I spent a lot of time in Annapolis growing up. We went to Navy games and the fireworks when they were held at the stadium. We walked the grounds of the Naval Academy when you did not need id's to get on. We went to the Christmas boat parade every year and froze. We watched the firewoks at the Naval Academy when they were moved there. We walked past the state house many times and every year we took a field trip there in school. We ate at the Market House and Storm Brothers and our favorite, Chick and Ruth's. We watched them dig up the bricks on Main Street and saw the archeologic dig that went on due to the abundance of colonial items they found undernearth. As we got older, us girls would watch the midshipmen with girlish delight and wonder what it be like to date one.  Each of us girls ended up dating a midshipman at some point. Two of us got our hearts broken and one found the love of her life. We danced at the Academy and watched so many sporting events that I cannot count them. Anyone remember rolling down the hill at the Navy games? We also watched hockey, lacrosse, soccer, and track. So many memories. This trip up to Maryland I decided I wanted to take a trip back. We went to today and some things have changed but others have not. We went to the place I used to work and although bigger, it is much the same. The manager that was there when us girls worked is still there and remembered us. We had a great time catching up and the boys spent about and hour looking at all the souveners and picking out the ones they wanted. It was awesome to see Kathy again and catch up. We took the boys to Chick and Ruth's delly for lunch. Yes, that is the way it is spelled. They were skeptical at first. When we got in though it was exactly the same. The paint color, the pictures and articles on the wall, the layout, the wall of sandwiches, the names of the sandwiches, and Uncle Teddy. He actually remembered us girls. Isn' t that amazing? He was still talking to the customers at every table and making the patrons smile by doing magic tricks. Yes, it was more crowded but the food and atmosphere were the same. I shook Uncle Teddy's hand on the way out and told him to never change. I want to bring my grandkids back some day. From there we walked up to the state house and around state circle and then on to the academy. This is where I saw the most change. Fences and securtiy and special entracnes and metal detectors. It was dreary and run down. There were weeds everywhere and peeling paint and holes in the road. It just was not the same. The whole place just had a depressed feeling. It might have been because it was just a dreary day and the midshipmen are all at home. It just was not the same. I don't know why. I told the boys that it was a lot different than when I grew up. I think they had fun anyway. They were shocked at the amount of effort it takes to go to one of the military academys. I think it was good for them to see how important a good education is. All in all, I had a fabulous day and so did they. The day ended as we sat in the Starbucks and looked out at the lights coming on all over town. It was a wonderful walk down memory lane and I built some new memories with my older boys. I hope to go back soon with the other kids before the town changes too much. I hope it never does. Annapolis will always hold a special place in my heart.

Friday, November 29, 2013

On Our Way - November 27, 2013

We are offically on our way to our annual trip up to Maryland to celebrate Thanksgiving with Carl's family. The kids are very excited to see their cousi. Alex tried to smuggle some swords and guns in the van. I had to remove them because there was not enough room for much. Who would ever think that a 15 passenger van would be too small. When you have ten people and car seats and stuff for a several day vacation, space gets taken up very fast. But we are on our way. Yeah. 
Today was Carl's last day at work. I was dreading this day. I wished and prayed that somethings would happen to make to not come. i prayed that his bosses would reconsider and change their minds. I thought that I would be crying and upset all day. I really was not loking forward to it. Today dawned and I had such an overwhleming peace about it. Honestly, it was mid mornign before I even realized that this was th day. I was busy and peaceful. I actually laughed more today and was calmer with the kids. The Lord just opened His arms up and held me there today. I was enveloped in such amazing peace and grace. Yes, I did get frustrated with several situations today. They mostly had to do with dowloading movies that I had purchased. I did not handle it well. I did ask forgiveness and moved on and again the peace moved in and enveloped me. I am so thankful that God in His infinite wisdom gave me peace today on a day where I expected sorrow. I know The Lord has wonderful things in store for our family.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Rain, Rain, Go Away - November 26, 2013

I know we need the rain. I know that we are very blessed to get rain today as it has not rained in a  while. As a mother to 8 children, I dislike rainy days. My energetic boys spend a lot of time outside. When ever they get loud and rambunctious I normally send them outside to jump on the trampoline or play in the backyard. They love it and they come inside calmer and able to focus and listen more. Today it rained all day long. A steady rain with no let up. I had to pack for our trip to Maryland so I was busy putting together socks, and sorting laundry, and folding laundry, and packing bags, and getting together snacks and medicine. Stuck right in the middle of all of this was a doctor's appontiment for Alex. He had his final wound check for his infection. It went well and I was so proud of him. The kids were good but there are 8 of them and only one of me. Today was one of those days where my older ones just wanted to play. It was like pulling teeth to get them to do anything. They did not want to clean out the van or help with laundry or really do anything. The little boys were just being little boys. It is not that they were bad. They were just being energetic in a house where there is not a lot of room to play. I finally got all the packing done despite four older children with pouty bad attitudes. I had reached my limit of noise and whining and fighting and wrestling and play by play of the video game and the interesting facts about Lord of the Rings that my older boys kept telling me. I am a Lord of the Rings fan but I really do not need to know that the actors greeted each other with head buts while they were filming. I had really had it and to be honest the last half of the day was not a good one for me as a mother. I yelled more than I should have and got very frustrated with my children. I am sorry to say that dinner was not pretty. I was upset of plans being changed due to weather and the fact that I now have to keep the kids occupied for one more full day while it is raining outside. Can you here me sigh? At least all the packing is done. TOmorrrow I plan to do more playing with them and things to keep them occupied. They were just bored today and a bored child, as any mother knows, can get into a heap of trouble.  Tomorrow sounds like a good day for some snuggle time and stories and building some relationships with my chidlren. I am so glad that I have a God that forgives us when we fall. I am so glad that I have chidlren who forgive their mother when she goes off the deep end for a little while. Our God is amazing and His mercies are new every morning. For that, this day, I am so thankful.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Coming out of the Pit - November 25, 2013

Oh my. What a roller coaster our family has been on the past few months.
To be honest, I have walked away from The Lord these past few months. It was not intentional and not all at once. I just simply found myself in a stiuation where it was easier to make excuses than to work on my relationship with The Lord. It was easier to sleep in in the morning. It was easier to watch things on my IPad at night. It was just easier to think that everything was fine. I knew it wasn't. Carl knew it wasn't. The kids knew it wasn't. I really don't think I was fooling anyone. Is that not how it normaly is? We think that we are hiding our inmost fears and failures but in reality those who are closest to us and love us the most know. No matter how hard we try to hide our struggles we cannot. And trying to hide them from God is impossible. We may think we are but we are not. No matter how far we run from God, He pursues us and pricks our hearts. We wind up feeling empty and lost and depressed and angry and foolish and guilty and tired and just ... broken. And in that place when we are so broken that it seems like we cannot take another breath. That place when it seems like we do not have another tear to cry. That place when we are shattered beyond any recognition of our former self. That is the place where God steps in and takes back control. That is when he shows us that he holds every tear in the palm of his hands. That is when he shows us that he is bigger than anything that we are going through.  That is when he takes us in his arms and allows us to breathe again. That is the place that I discovered last night. I have been there before at other times in my life but this time it was sweeter for some reason. It was joyful and awesome and ... there are almost no words to describe it. It was just ... a magnificent place of grace and mercy. All day today I have just been singing and praising God. It has been a long time coming and it felt so good. Will i struggle again? You betcha. Will I need to remind myself of how this feels every day? Absolutely. Will the hard times end? Probably not. But I know that God is bigger than anything I am going through. He was the one who ordained it and He is the one who can give me the strength to come out the other side stronger and more like Him. Because if I do become more like Him through the struggles, then, it will be worth every tear and heartache. More later on these past few months. 

Monday, July 15, 2013

Stone July 15, 2013

Three Gifts in Stone

The diamonds and sapphires in my wedding ring. They are beautiful gemstones. My ring has a story to it and it is such a blessing. My sweet man designed the ring himself and had his jeweler uncle make it for me. Even though it does not fit anymore I still cherish it.

Arches National Monument in Utah. We went there last year to visit my sister. There really are no words to describe God's glorious creation there. It was awesome and magnificent. It was one of my favorite places that we visited that trip. I even hiked it with a broken foot, although I did not realize that it was broken at the time. It was beautiful.

Grand Canyon. Really, again. There are no words to properly describe it. The magnificence of it is truly something that one must experience in person. There really is no other way.  What an awesome testimony to God's wonderful creation. Everyone should try and see it at least once in their lives. I am so glad we had a chance to see it and to allow our children to see an example of His creativity and awesomeness.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Weakness July 10, 2013

3 Gifts in Weakness.

571. My struggles with anger. I fight every day to not succumb to the rise of frustration and anger that wells up in me. I often sit and wonder how I became a screamer. I have had victory in some areas. Some days are better than others. I continue to find that the more I pray and the closer I get to Him that the more I rely on Him and have victory. I am finding myself being calm more in the face of stress and frustration. I pray that the victories will soon outweigh the failures.

572. My fight to find and keep joy every day. I am so weary of making my blessings into burdens. I am tired of choosing fear over joy. I let the stress and frustration take hold in my life. I pass that onto my children as we do not have a joyful home. I am striving to replace the fear and stress with joy and thanksgiving. When I let the stresses of the day overcome me then it is like I am saying that God is not strong enough. It comes down to faith. When I choose fear, I have a lack of faith. I need to look for the things in my life that are joyful. I need to count my blessings and spend much time with the Lord. That is where my joy comes from.

573. My failures as a wife. There have been so many times that I have failed Carl. I have not been the help meet that he needs. I have been wallowing in my own self pity and have neglected the needs of my husband. I am weary of failure. I am so tired with mediocrity. I want to rise to victory. I just seem to fail all the time. I do realize though that I need to take the action first. Submission always begins with the one who is supposed to be submitting. I cannot wait for a certain behavior or action from Carl in order for me to take action. My action should come first regardless on what Carl says or does.

Monday, July 1, 2013

Love- July 1, 2013

 3 Gifts Loved
344. i love my husband with all my heart. I pray every morning that The Lord would grow my love towards my husband. I want to be the proper helpmeet that he needs. I need to always remember to keep building a relationship with him. There will come a day when the kids are gone and he and I can have all the time in the world to spend together. I cannot wait. Not that I do not love spending time with my children. I tell them all the time "I loved your father first and I love him the most." May this statement always ring true.

345. I love all of my children. Each one is unique and such a wonderful blessing. Each one has a special place in my heart. Alex is my sweet young man, William is my reliable and helpful soul, Nathan is my hugger and encourager, Esther is my little mommy helper, Daniel is my sensitive soul, Sam is my love bug, Caleb makes me smile, and Tirzah is my snuggle bug.

346. I love my Bible. What an awesome privilege it is to have not just one, but multiple copies of the Word of God in multiple translations. I know there are people in the world who have never held a copy of the word of God in their hands. Some do not even have a written language. I am blessed to hold the Word of God in my hands and read it and study it. I take it for granted every day that I am able t open a Bible. Let me not forget what an awesome privilege it is.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Grafting - April 25, 2013

My brother in law is a wise man. He has been gifted with the awesome ability to speak so the common man can understand him. He is not an uneducated man. He graduated from the Naval Academy and has gone on to get extensive biblical training. He is one of the most well educated men about the Bible that I know. Yet, when he opens his mouth to speak about what The Lord has taught him you cannot help but hang on his every word. He has a southern twang from being raised from in Nebo, North Carlolina and it is interesting just hearing him talk at all. This past Sunday was the first time that I really have heard him speak. I attended my parents church and he taught in a Sunday School class I attended. The entire time he spoke the entire class was hanging on his every word. What he preached was something I already knew but had never heard it applied like he did. He told us that his father and grandfather had the awesome ability to take things in nature and make them apply to biblical principles. Wow! He told me later that he grew up believing that this is how most people were. I am lucky to have a father-in-law who has the same gift. It is not that common at all. Michael has that gift, too.
He taught that class on the idea of grafting fruit trees. He told us that when you take a branch and graft it to a root, that the seed produced will always be what the root is. You can graft a red delicious apple branch onto a crab apple root and the seed produced from the red delicious apple will be a crab apple seed. In fact, that is the most common root. If you take an apple seed from the apples you buy in the grocery store and plant it, it most likely will produce a crab apple tree. Amazing. I guess I had never thought about it. You can take a pear branch and graft it and you will still get a crab apple seed. He told us that as Christians we will always produce seeds to the root we are grafted in. If we are grafted into Christ then we should produce the fruit of Christ. That fruit is love, joy, peace, patience and so on. It was like a light bulb went on over peoples heads all over the room. I heard a lot of "oh's". He asked us point blank what kind of fruit we were producing. He also talked about pruning too and how that applies to the Christian life.
He also talked about how we should not see our children grafted into our branch but into the vine or the root. I need to be pointing them to the root, Christ and not have them believe that there is anything that I, as their mother, can do that will save them. It is a personal decision between them and God.
There was one other thing he talked about that I have been thinking about since then. He was talking about how God called him to the mission field. He told how God had been working on his heart for a year or two and how he finally decided that he did not want his children to see him, as a father, tell God no. He knew that if he told God no, then when God called Isaiah and Abbey that they would say no just like he had. That really struck a chord with me. I have told God no many times and I am seeing the results of that in my children. The Lord has been working on my heart about some things and I have just kept pushing those thoughts away thinking up every excuse to not do what The Lord is telling me to do. This whole mission conference has convinced me that I can no longer tell God no. THere are some things that I need to be patient about as our family is not in a place to accomplish some of the things that I feel led to do. I know though that The Lord is preparing my heart and the hearts of those in my family. There are many things though that I can be doing. Is it scary? Yes. It requires me to get out of comfort zone. It requires me putting myself out there to be ridiculed and confronted.
I told my kids in the car on the way home from church the other day that I do not want to get up to heaven and stand before God and have him say, yes, I did things for His name but I was supposed to do so much more. I want to take the gifts that God has given me and use them for His glory and honor. I am so thankful for all The Lord has done for me and I want to spend my life serving Him. I want my children to look back at their mother's life and remember me as a woman who did not tell God no.

Monday, April 8, 2013

The wait - 4/8/13

Three gifts waited for:

292. am what is known as a 42 weeker when it comes to my pregnancies. Only one of my children has come on time and that was because she was a planned c-section. I have had to wait those extra two weeks and at times I have not been very patient. Each child was born in God's perfect timing, not mine. I am glad for the time that each child was in my womb, growing and being prepared for birth.

293. Waiting for word from the Army about deployment. The unit he was supposed to go on in June no longer needs him but now another unit leaving in August has him on the list. Ah, the joys of being in limbo. It has had a good effect though. It has made Carl and I realize that we need to get some things in order to be prepared for things. He is in charge of the finances and I need to take a bigger role in it.

294. Waiting for The Lord to move. It seems that I have been praying for something for quite a while. It seems like The Lord is not working in this prayer. I know he is though. It is teaching me great patience as I would like this prayer to be answered immediately. The Lord is teaching me wonderful things in the waiting. As I wait for The Lord to work on this persons heart, my own heart is being renewed and blessed.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Nailed Together - April 6,2013

Three things nailed together

286. The walls of my house which we saw last night. We had to cut a hole in the wall due to a leak in my bathtub. We had water all in our upstairs bathroom and bedroom floor. I am so thankful for a roof over my head and a wonderful house at that. I know sometimes I complain about it not being big enough or the laundry room or the front room but I am so thankful for the blessing we have in this house.

287. The hope chest at the foot of my bed. Right now it holds pictures and mementos from my childhood and from my children. I have notebooks of poetry and drawings and other various things that I and my children have done over the years. I hope to pass it onto my daughter one day filled with the things that she needs to start her own household.

288. The shelves in my mothers house that holds all the families pictures. My two sisters and I have 12 children between us and the shelves are quite full. I love looking at all the pictures as I am the only one of the sisters that live near my parents. My other sister is in Colorado and my little sister is traveling all over the country on deputation to be missionaries to Spain. I miss them.

This day also reminds me of the cross that was nailed together and the nails that were pounded into my Savior's hands and feet. How blessed we are because of the sacrifice that he made on the cross for us. I am reminded of the words of a song I heard this morning. There is nothing that I can do that cannot be covered by what Christ did on the cross. All my sin is covered and forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ. Amen and Amen!!!

Friday, April 5, 2013

No Motivation and Moving Forward from Where I Am Right Now - April 5, 2013

I have been trying to get back into the habit of blogging again but I find myself having no motivation whatsoever. All I want to do right now is take a nap. I have been trying to work on a feasible schedule as the kids and I have been suffering lately from chaos all day long. I have put a lot of time and energy into that. I just seem to be in a state of ... nothing. I don't want to do anything or be around anyone. I just want to ... be... alone. Does that sound weird? I guess it does. For the past 15 years I have not had a decent moment to myself. My days have been filled with diapers and crying and laundry and fixing meals and all the other various duties of a mother to 8 children. I feel almost like I have lost myself in trying to help my children discover who they are in Christ. I am not one of those women into the whole "you have to take time for yourself" movement. Yes, I do need to get by myself but what I am talking about is the child of God I am supposed to be. I have lost sight of that. I have been so intent on raising my kids to be godly young men and women (and have drastically failed by the way) that I have lost sight of the whole idea that more is caught than taught. I have let my relationship with God fall into disrepair all for the sake of my kids. That may sound like a good thing to some but not to me. If my relationship with Christ is not what it is supposed to be then my children are the ones who are going to suffer the most of all. How could I, a women who grew up in the church, miss this? I know all the things I am supposed to do and all the right things to say. I know what clothes to wear so as not to offend anyone and I know what to say to my children in public to give people the impression that I have it all together. If people only saw how I truly speak to my children. I have been so convicted of my behavior and my walk with God lately. Satan is using this to discourage me and bring me to a place that I do not want to be in, a pit ... of despair. It is so hard getting out of a pit once you are in it. The only way is to reach up for the hand of my Savior and allow him, in his strength, to pull me out. I cannot do it on my own.
All of that to say. I am not going to worry about what I have not done. All the catch up can wait. I am going to start right from where I am. The catch up may come later but for right now I am going to start at this moment. So back to my joy dare. I am going to start with today's assignment and if I get a chance to catch up I will but I am not going to stress over it.

Three Gifts at 11AM, 2PM, and 6PM.

283. 11 AM The fact that today is pay day and I am at the bank getting our budget money out. How blessed I am that we have money coming in every month that provides for our family of 10.

284. 2 PM The sounds of the piano being played. Today is piano lessons and Esther is playing right now. I am so thankful for Ellie who drives to my house to give the kids lessons. What a blessing she is and she loves all her piano students. What a godly young woman she is.

285 .6 PM Last night I was on my way to our Keepers meeting. Esther and I enjoy our time of just the girls. It was great to see her get so excited about learning how to be a godly young lady. I thank the Lord for the older ladies in our church who strive to be like the Proverbs 31 woman. I also am thankful for the young ladies who are growing up with Esther and encourage her to walk closer to the Lord.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Major Catch Up #1

Wow, I did not realize how far behind I was. I was doing so well and then the vacation came up. I had great plans to keep up the blogging while on vacation. With news of the deployment I went kind of in a downward spiral. Things just got away from me as I dealt with packing and the deployment news. I have determined to get back on track. Bear with me as I catch up on my joy dares. There are quite a few so I am thinking about dividing them between several posts. I don't want to overwhelm anyone, including myself. So here is the beginning of the catch up posts. I have 22 joy dares to catch up on.

3 Gifts in the Kitchen
196. My rice cooker. I put off buying on for years thinking they were just a frivolous tool. I got one on sale for $10 at Target and I fell in love. It made my dinners so much easier because I did not have to babysit the rice. I just turned it on and went on with other things.

197. My green Correll dishes. I got them for my wedding and they have held up to eight kids and 15 years of meals. The kids have dropped them on the floor and they are fine. I love the durability of them and the kids think it is cool that I got them as a wedding present.

198. My sweet Tirzah girl and Caleb boy asking me to dance with them. I like to put on music when I am cooking or cleaning the kitchen. Caleb or Tirzah will inevitably come to me and ask to dance to the music. How can I resist there pleas. It does my heart good to twirl them around the kitchen.

3 Gifts Loud
199. Uh, my life. With 8 children and a husband it is rarely quiet. Ever. It reminds how blessed I am to have the family I have. My husband has a saying for our family. Embrace the chaos.

200. The birds as they come out in the spring. When I walk outside sometimes it is all you can hear. How wonderful it is to live in an area where we have multiple birds come to our yard.

201. The singing of the saints together on a Sunday morning. It makes me look forward to one day singing with all the saints who have gone on before and my dear Savior.

3 Gifts Carved
202. Willow Tree figurines. I love to look at the few ones that I have. They each hold a special meaning for me.

203. The birdhouses that my dad makes. It means that he is healthy enough to build them. He loves to do it and it keeps him busy. I especially like the one he built with wood from our old house in Baltimore.

204. Archers Monument in Utah. How awesome that God carved used the wind and rain to carve those beautiful archers. It was magnificent and a wonderful display of God's power and creativity.

3 Gifts in Christ
205. Life. Through his death and resurrection, we have life. That is the ultimate gift.

206. Peace. With him by our side we know that whatever trials come our way that he will use it for our good and his glory. He promises us that peace.

207. Comfort. When we are discouraged and broken he carries us and comforts us.

3 Gifts Read
208. The greatest book ever written. The Holy Bible.

209. My mother who was the one who taught me how to read. She instilled in me a love for the written word. She writes frequently and I love to read anything she has penned.

210. The letters that my sweet man wrote to me while he was deployed to Kuwait in 2004.

A Gift in Wind, Water, and in White
211. The cool breezes in Florida as we vacationed. It kept the temperatures down and the kids happy. It was great to feel it on your face.

212. The pool at the campground and hotel in Florida. The kids loved swimming in them. Riding the boats to the park was awesome.

213. The white of the Tae Kwon Do uniforms my kids and husband wear. I am so thankful that we have an opportunity to have the family participate in the program. I am thankful it is a christian based program that glorifies God.

3 Gifts Round
214. The picture I took in Epcot of the big ball with the flag flying in front of it. It reminded me of how blessed we are to be living in a country where we have the freedom to worship God, for now anyway.

215. Our trampoline. The kids have gotten so many hours of enjoyment from it. It has been such a blessing to the whole family.

216. The round pencil holder on my school desk. It reminds of the awesome job I have in educating my children. What a wonderful thing it is to homeschool.

This seems like a good place to stop for now. Tirzah is up from her nap and the kids are wanting a snack. I better go monitor that and start dinner.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Silence 3/14/13

Three Gifts in Silence:

217. In the early morning hours the silence is broken by my sweet man getting up and ready for work. He tries to be quiet to let the rest of the house sleep. Some mornings he is successful. This morning he was not. The troops awoke as he did. I am thankful though because the breaking of the silence in the morning means he has a job. How blessed we are.

218. The blessed silence in the car when I look back and realize that all the children are either sleeping or reading. Those moments are rare but a blessing.

219. Praying in the middle of the night when the house is quiet and everyone is resting.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Broken and Beautiful 3/6/13

A gift bent, broken, and beautiful

193. Bent - I have a cutting board in my kitchen. I love it for two reasons. The first reason is that it has a lip on it so it fits on my counter top and does not move around. The second reason is because my father made it for me for Christmas. He does woodworking and he loves to build his girls things (he has four daughters). It is so special because it is well used and actually bent from all the use. It still works great and I will keep using it until it breaks. Every time I look at it I think of my dad and the special man that he is.

194. Broken - My heart at the thought of not seeing my sweet man for 9 months. May the Lord give us both strength and protection for this upcoming separation. The military may have him for 9 months but he is mine for a lifetime.

195. Beautiful - My little boys love for their mama. My Caleb was playing on my bed this morning and I asked him to give me a kiss and hug. He started charging at me and I had to throw my hands out for protection and say "Gentle kisses and hugs." He obeyed and we enjoyed some snuggle time, for about 10 seconds, before he was off again. I love my boys, all six of them. It brought joy to my heart to start off the day.

My sweet man just called. He has been busy lately with a lot of things on his mind. He has been thinking about all the things that come with his deployment. We have not had a lot of time to talk as he has been up late every night. When he comes to bed I have fallen asleep, not out of disrespect but out of exhaustion. I told him this morning that we will have to find some time to talk about things soon. When he called he said he was arranging for a babysitter this evening so we can go out and talk. Oh, how I love that man. He brought tears to my eyes.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Update and Changes 3/5/13

Some of you may have heard a rumor about our family. No, I am not pregnant. Carl got news this weekend that he is going to be deployed in June for 9 months. We knew this was a great possibility. We have been dodging the bullet for years now. He has been slated to go but has always been taken off the list for some reason or another. This time it looks like there is no getting off the list. We are busily preparing for his departure in 2 1/2 months. I spent the first two days going from crying hysterically to fully trusting God. I know that He is perfect and he never gives us anything that we cannot handle. It is tough though. I will basically become a single parent for 9 months and Carl will be bombarded with the unworldly things that go along with being away from his family and support system. There are many temptations that he will face and I will too. I will be tempted to be angry and bitter and let discipline go with the children. I will be tempted to just give up and let the kids watch TV all day. I know this because this is what I was tempted with last time he was deployed. At that time we only had four kids and we had just started formal homeschooling so it was easy kindergarten stuff. Now we have 4 more kids and are into pre algebra, writing assignments, geography, and much more advanced things in addition to doing kindergarten stuff with a few of the littles. I am apprehensive about the whole thing. I know that I am going to need help but I do not want to go live with my mom. I know that she would be willing to let us stay there but I cannot take football and Tae Kwon Do away from the boys. I am just still processing it all. Two things that I just keep repeating over and over in my mind come from a sermon I heard this weekend and a song that has been really special to me.
1. Never doubt in the storm what God has taught you in the calm.
2. Every gift that I receive God determined just for me.
Carl and I are going to need a lot of support over this next year. Please keep us and our children in your prayers.

Three gifts found.

190. We have probably over 5,00 books in our house. They are everywhere. I have no idea of all the titles and authors. Every once in a while I will be looking for a particular book that I am pretty sure that I have. It never fails that I will pray about finding it and within 10 minutes of looking for it, I have found it. That is just God.

191. I went out this weekend to look for some clothes for me for our upcoming vacation. I knew what I needed. I had some time by myself and went to the thrift store. I found exactly what I needed the first place I looked. Most everything I picked out and tried on fit. Each thing I purchased was no more than $10 with most being $3. What a blessing it was.

192. I have found a peace over my husband's deployment. Yes, there will still be many tears shed. Yes, I will miss him greatly. I know that God is in control and this is his perfect will for us right now.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Behind Again 3/4/13

Three Gifts Green

181. The green grass that is starting to poke through again. I love it when the weather turns warm again and the flowers and grass return after a cold winter.

182. The green shirt I am wearing today. It means my husband has a job and is able to easily provide clothing when we need it. Yes, we need to be careful with our finances and I am always looking for a good deal, but we have clothes to wear.

183. The green curtains in my schoolroom that blocks out the astonishingly bright sunlight right now. It reminds of the awesome privilege I have in homeschooling and the fact that I have a house that I can raise my children in.

Three gifts wore.

184. My coat that I can wear during this unseasonably cold weather in North Carolina.

185. The long denim skirt that my mother gave me. She ordered it for herself but it was too big. Instead of returning it she offered it to me. I love her unselfish spirit.

186. The glasses that I absolutely need to be able to see. I cannot function without them and am useless when I cannot find them.

Three gifts hard to give thanks for.

187. This has been a tough weekend as we found out that my husband is being deployed in June for 9 months. I have really struggled with this all weekend. I have gone from trusting to sheer panic. Being a single mom of 8 kids for 9 months is not something that I thought was in my future. I have to give thanks for this because it is in God's perfect plan. He never says oops and this is what is best for us right now. We are safer in his will than out of it. So, thank you Lord for my husbands upcoming deployment.

188. Carpet. I know it sound petty. My children have done a number on our lowest contractor grade carpet. It was not put in properly in some places and it looks awful. I have area rugs covering most areas. I would love to put in hard wood floors. But, right now, at this point in time we have carpeting. So, thank you Lord for the carpeting in a house that you have so richly blessed us with.

189. It is hard to give thanks for all the preparations for this deployment. There is so much to prepare for from finances to house preparations. The list just keeps getting longer and longer. Every time I think of something that needs to be done my heart breaks a little thinking of the time spent apart from each other. But Lord, I thank you that we have 2 1/2 months to prepare. My husbands last deployment was sudden and we had two weeks to prepare. This is a blessing to have this much time to get ready.

Friday, March 1, 2013

3 p.m.

Three gifts at 3 p.m.

178. Getting a chance to go out and be by myself for a few hours. I love my children dearly but every once in a while I just need a break.

179. My wonderful mother who watches the kids for me every once in awhile so I can go out. She loves her grand kids so much and looks forward to spending time with them.

180. The Durham Rescue Mission Thrift Store. I love going there. They are so organized and I always find what I need. I went in today to look for shirts for our vacation and I found exactly what I wanted. It also feels good to support an organization that helps people so much.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Prepared by the Past 2/28/13

Three gifts from the past that help you trust the future:

175. God protected me from the people who tried to harm me when I was 14. He rescued me from a frightening situation and brought me home to my parents and friends and family. He used that experience for me to fully understand what true forgiveness is and how bitterness can invade a life and destroy you. He showed me how if we trust in him that we can be rescued from any situation.

176. He walked right with me when my beloved and I were going through a separation. He was there through the whole thing. He forgave me for the things that I had done wrong in the marriage and led my husband to a point of repentance. It makes me believe that no matter what happens that he will walk with me and what I going through is only going to make me stronger.

177. Having one sister who has a learning disability and the other sister having major medical problems has prepared me for having children. I have several children who have major learning issues and three sons who have chronic health issues (asthma, seizures). Growing up with my two sisters prepared me to be ready when the Lord gifted me with my children who require more time and patience.

Esther's eye is so much better today. The prayers and antibiotics have finally started working. Her eye is like 10 times better than it was even last night. I am so thankful. We still need to be careful until we know what kind of infection that she has. The doctor told me today that it could take 6 months for her to be clear of this ordeal. He says that it is on her skin and can be passed by touching. We need to be real careful about who she has close contact with. I am just trusting the Lord that it will all work out. He knows what tomorrow will bring and he gives me the strength to handle it that day.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Reflections and Ugliness 2/27/13


Three gifts that are reflections:

169. The reflection of the pond that I drive past every time I go to visit my mom. There are these trees that surround one side of it and it is amazing to see the change of season in those trees and the reflection in the pond. I keep threatening my kids that I am going to stop on the side of the road and take a picture of them in summer, spring, fall and winter.

170. The reflection of my face in the morning. Yes, it is a lot fatter than it used to be and there are more lines and spots, but I am healthy and have a husband I adore and 8 children who I love more than life itself.

171. The attitudes I see in my children that they get directly from me. They are just a reflection of me and it causes me to daily examine my life for what needs to be removed and what needs to be developed.

Three ugly - beautiful gifts

172. Esther's eye infection. It has caused me to do a lot of thinking these past few days about how I have taught my children. There has been a lot of doctor's appointments and interruptions to my day. I have found myself getting frustrated and I have seen the kids behavior as lacking. It has made me have a renewed desire to teach them better to be like the Lord.

173. The floor we uncovered in the kids bathroom. It was installed horribly when the house was built. It was just poor workmanship. My husband took that ugliness and installed a beautiful ceramica floor. I love it and it looks so much better. Knowing my husband's work ethic I know the floor was installed properly this time.


174. Our backyard in the winter looks like just a brown mess. During the spring we slowly see the green creep back until the whole yard is full and lovely and beautiful again.

I found out that I had numbered some of my gifts wrong. I going back and trying to repair them some of the posts got out of order. I do not know how to fix this. I am glad that I started the habit of putting the date in the title of the post. Sorry for any confusion.

Changes and Textiles 2/23/13

Three Gifts that Changed Today

157. We got a message from my brother in law today that said he was going to be driving through North Carolina on his way to Florida. He wanted to meet for lunch. He has driven through before but never offered to stop. We met him and his family for lunch right off the interstate. We ate at Bob Evans and had a great visit. We had 12 kids and 4 adults in our party. It was awesome for the cousins to visit and the adults too. What a great afternoon!

158. Being able to go grocery shopping with my Esther girl and spending time with her looking at clothes and fabric for her Snow White dress.

159. Being able to talk to my husband while in the car on the way to meet his family. It was nice having time to talk to him where he and I were not doing anything else.

160. A gift of tin. A little tin candle stick holder that I bought while on our honeymoon to Williamsburg, Virginia. A lot of funny memories is associated with it.

161. A gift of wood. The wooden bookshelves that my husband designed and built on either side of our fireplace. Every time I look at them I think of what a talent my husband has.

162. A gift of glass. Windows. They keep out the cold, the heat, and the bugs!!!

Monday, February 25, 2013

A Mac and an electric griddle 2/25/13

A gift worn out, new, made do

166. The electric griddle that I cook pancakes, eggs, and bacon on. It is a great tool that my husband and I use several times a week. We are on our third one and it needs to be replaced soon. It is a mandatory tool in the kitchen of large families. The kids know when I get it out that we are having one of their favorite dinners, pancakes and eggs.

167. Our new Mac. I love it and it has made homeschool so much easier.

168. Shoes. I would love to buy all new shoes for my children. With 8 kids we do a lot of handing down. Sometimes by the time the little ones get the shoes they are very worn out. We make do with what we have and every one always has shoes on their feet. That is a blessing. I also have found shoes at consignment sales just when I need them.

Sunday, February 24, 2013

11 a.m. and Nameless Strangers 2/24/13

Three gifts before 11 a.m.

163. Family worship with my family. My husband was not feeling well so we did not go to church but worshipped at home this morning. We sang some songs and discussed Psalm 34. We were able to really have some good conversation about the passage. It was a great morning. It was fun playing the piano with my William boy.

164. Two extra chicken biscuits at McDonalds drive thru. Small, I know, but it was a blessing as one of our children did not like the thing he ordered. It saved a lot of time already having something extra that he could eat.

165. Coming out of my bedroom and being met with the baby giggles of my Tirzah girl in the hallway. She slept with her sister last night and woke up and went in search of Mommy. We were able to snuggle with Daddy for a few minutes before getting up.

Do you ever get the sudden urge that you are supposed to pray for a particular person? I asked The Lord at the beginning of this year to make my prayer life stronger and he has answered. I have felt the urge to pray for more people this year than ever before. A lot of times I will be asleep and will wake and have The Lord lead me to pray for someone. It happened today while driving. At McDonalds this morning we witnessed a very nasty encounter between two vehicles. One had cut the other one off in the parking lot and was very upset. It is a confusing parking lot and at one place you really do not know who has the right of way. The one car stopped and started yelling at the other people. It lasted a few minuted before they sped away. I really did not think anything of it. After Carl made the decision to return home instead of going to church (he was feeling poorly) we headed home. We encountered a police car blocking our lane. Two other police cars had a car pulled over in a driveway and they were searching it pretty throughly. It was the same car that had done the horn blowing and yelling at the McDonalds parking lot. I found it interesting but did not think anything of it. That was until I was in the car on the way to the fabric store with Esther. For some reason, all of a sudden, The Lord led me to rpay for that man and woman in that car that had been pulled over. It was an overwhelming feeling and I just had to start praying for them. I just prayed that The Lord would protect those two and would lead them to Him. I just kept praying it the entire way to the store and then back. I have no idea what is going on in their lives but I knew I had to pay for them. I will probably never see them again or know why they needed prayer today. All I know that is that I had to obey the Lord's leading. I pray for this nameless couple tonight that The Lord would lead them to come to him.

Thursday, February 21, 2013

White 2/21/13

3 Gifts White

154. The white of my wedding gown that was a representation of the purity coming into marriage.
My husband and I remained pure for each other before we were married. The white of the wedding dress meant so much to us. It also reminded us of the sinlessness of Christ. He was a completely pure sacrifice.

155. Snow. We do not see much of it here in North Carolina but when we do there is excitement. This past weekend it did snow and the kids had a blast. It did not last long but the flakes were so big. I had never seen flakes that big before, even being born and raised in Maryland.  My children loved it, especially our little 1 year old. She kept running to the window as if to say "Look Mommy."

156. Our van. It is white like most 15 passenger vehicles. It is such a blessing to be able to have room for all the kids a vehicle. It also encourages me that we can have a few more and still not run out of room. Also, the church we attend has a lot of 15 passenger vans in the parking lot every Sunday. I am thankful for a church that believes that children are a blessing and heritage.


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Mealtime Blessings 2/20/13

A gift at breakfast, lunch, and dinner

151. Breakfast - reading the Bible to my sweet children. It is getting better every day as it is becoming a habit for them. The behavior and sitting still is improving. Sometimes I have to wait to eat my breakfast after the bible reading because my one son is so eager to hear it. We also have had quite a few discussions about what we have been reading. Praise the Lord.

152. Lunch - going to lunch with my mom today. It is always a blessing to eat with my mom and dad. I love seeing the kids run to them. She also surprised me by helping out with buying some homeschool supplies for the kids at the Homeschool Gathering Place. I am very blessed to have parents like that who are willing to help us out.

153. Dinner - eating with my children and husband. Dinner was quick and simple but the conversation and fellowship was awesome. I love the fact that we all sit down together and eat a meal.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Plan B 2/19/13

3 Gifts that Were Plan B

148. On vacation this year we were driving cross country to Colorado from North Carolina to visit my sister. We hit a deer on our second day of traveling. We were doing 70 miles an hour down the interstate. Thankfully no one was injured. It was memorial day weekend so we had to wait 3 days before our car could be looked at. We were stuck in Evansville, Indiana. We sent out an e-mail to our church asking for prayer and were flooded with offers of people who knew friends and family in the area. We ended up spending two days with complete strangers who opened their home to us. They fed us, did our laundry, and entertained us. We now have great friends for life.

149. My husband was deployed in 2004 to Kuwait. It was actually a Plan B. My husband's unit kept being on alert to be deployed and then taken off. This off and on went on for 2 years. It was horrible as we would get ready and then have to make changes again. My husband was given the opportunity to be a part of a small port operations unit going to Kuwait in 2004. He actually volunteered to go. He spent the entire year over there except for 2 weeks in September. We ended up getting pregnant during those 2 weeks. He came home and later found out that his original unit still had not been deployed but were now being sent over to Iraq. My husband never stepped foot in Iraq for which I am thankful. Plan B worked out just fine.

150. Having 4 children who have some sort of learning disabilities was not in my original plan. They have taught me to be patient and loving and understanding. I have more compassion for moms who are struggling with a difficult child. Being told your child has the worst case of ADHD the doctor has ever seen is heart breaking but I have learned that God does not give us anything that we cannot handle. It requires me to go to him in prayer many times a day in confession and crying out to him.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Catch Up 2/18/13

3 Gifts in Shadows

139. On a hot summer day the cool shade of a tree is awesome. Sitting under the shade of the tree with a cool breeze blowing against your face is the most fantastic thing about summer.

140. The shadows that appear out our backyard when the sun goes down. It cast a wonderful glow above the trees and send the entire backyard into a contrast of shadow and light. It is magnificent because every evening is a little bit different.

141. When I am walking through the hardest times of my life I feel like there is darkness all around me. The truth is that in those times that God is walking so close to me to protect me that his shadow completely covers me from the evil trying to destroy me.

3 Gifts Found in Giving and Serving

142. The tears of woman who is going through chemo when you tell her you woke up in the middle of the night to pray for her. She shares with you that at the time you were praying she was awake and really struggling with pain and needed prayers just then.

143. The awesome feeling you have when you wake up at 2:00 in the morning and feel called to pray for a little girl who is in the hospital due to a car accident. You wake up the following morning to an e-mail that says that right at the moment you woke up and prayed she coded and had to be revived several times.

144. The wonder at being woken up in the middle of the night to pray for your brother-in-law in Iraq. Urgent prayer and I am talking the fall down on your knees and cry out to God kind. You wake up in the morning to 3 different phone calls by your two sisters and your mother. We all woke the same time that night and cried out to God on behalf of our brother-in-law, son-in-law, and husband. We found out later that day that his convoy had been attacked at that moment and they were pinned behind their overturned truck in a valley surrounded on all sides by enemy fire. They had no way of escape except for air support which came soon after four women and probably many others the Lord woke up a world way started to pray.  Give me goosebumps every time I think about it.

3 Gifts on Paper

145. The note to my husband written by a sweet little 9 year old girl who loves her daddy very much. She had written it a while ago but it somehow had made its way under the bed in our room. Cleaning up this morning I found it and it brought a smile to my face.

146. The blog I follow that has been kicking me out of my comfort zone as a parent and a wife. Every post is convicting and leads me to scripture to repent and seek help to deal with the consequences of my sin.

147. The lesson plans that I need to make today for the week. It makes me thankful that I have the awesome privledge of homeschooling my children and treaching them about God and who he is.

Friday, February 15, 2013

A Loss, A Find, and Something Homemade 2/15/13

A gift in losing, finding, and making something

136. Losing - the loss of my grandmother this summer. She had been in pain for so long and kept expressing a desire to just "go home." She passed into the arms of Jesus to peace and seeing her husband again. Her death also made me reexamine how I mother. She was a woman who exuded a meek and quiet spirit. Her children all said they could remember only one time that she yelled. It made me desire to have a meek and quiet spirit with my own children.

137. March 21, 1986 - The day I found myself washed anew with the blood of Jesus Christ. I asked Jesus to be my Savior that day while praying with my mother. It all came about by my first failing grade ever, pre algebra.

138. Making my own laundry detergent. It gives me great satisfaction to make something that i know what is in and am protecting my children from unwanted chemicals and perfumes. My 3 year old and my baby girl break out when I use anything but homemade detergent.

I love Carl because he came home early to spend time with his parents who are visiting from Maryland and we had a date night tonight.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Love of God 2/14/13

3 ways I feel the Love of God

133. The fact that he has planned every day of my life shows me how much he loves me. Nothing is a surprise to him and he never says "Oops." Every thing that he has planned for me and given to me has been determined just right for me. He only wants good things for me and even the hard things are meant to make me grow close to him and to become more like him.

134. Knowing that from the first sin, God made a way to redeem us. He knew that Adam and Eve were going to sin and already made a way to save us from death. It is amazing to me that he loved us that much.

135. He removes our sins as far as the east is from the west. Satan may bring up my sin again and try to make me feel guilty but God never does. If I have truly repented and turned from my sin then he does not bring it up again.

I love Carl because he understands that when he calls and I complain about the cake taking longer than I expected to bake, dinner not being started, and the house being a mess that I am not really mad at him. I am just venting. The cake got made and was delicious, dinner was late but delicious, and my house will get clean tomorrow. He loves me despite my grumblings.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Behind Doors 2/13/13


Three Gifts Behind a Door

130. All of my children as little babies. When they first woke in the morning and I would hear them start to talk and then slowly open the door and peer in at them. That first smile of the day that said "I love you, Mom" is the best in the whole world.

131. A knock on the door of my 6th grade classroom 15 years ago. Behind that door was my sweet boyfriend, now husband, who was wearing a suit and had flowers and a stuffed bear. He also had a beautifully designed engagement ring and asked me to marry him right in front of 30 screaming and giggling 6th graders.

132. Watching my husband arrive home from work and be tackled by eight children. My boys are running at him full force. My oldest daughter is launching herself into his arms for a hug. My sweet Tirzah girl, who just learned to say Dad-Dy just runs as fast as her little legs can carry her and holds her arms up until he reaches down to pick her up. She then wraps her arms securely around his neck and just smiles.  What a sight to see every evening. It makes me cry every time.

I love Carl because he brings Bo Berry biscuits for the kids in the morning but still encourages me to stay on my juice fast.

Hard Things 2/12/13

Three Hard Things

127. Being a mother is the hardest thing I have ever done. Actually, being a mother who is intent on raising her children to follow after God is hard. Being an example of how my children should follow Christ is literally the toughest thing I have ever experienced. I have never cried so many tears or laughed so hard. I have been kicked out of my comfort zone and yet found extreme joy. There have been so many sleepless nights and early mornings. I also have never learned so much or grown so close to the Lord.

128. Going through a separation with my husband was also one of the hardest things I have ever gone through. It was necessary to wake my husband up to sin in his life but in the process it revealed sin of my own. It was good for both of us as he was forced to draw close to God and so was I. When the separation was over we were both stronger and closer to God and each other. We learned so much.

129. Watching my 13 year old son have his first seizure in July was the most heart wrenching thing ever. I have never felt so helpless. It was actually a blessing because in the midst of the many doctor"s appointments that followed my son and I improved our relationship. It was also a blessing because he was initially put on a medication that caused wild violent episodes that woke my husband up to the fact that he and my son have a lot of healing to do in their relationship. My son is now on a new medication that causes less side effects and my husband and son meet together each week for one on one bible study.

I love Carl because he loves his two little girls with such a great love.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Blessings from Work 2/11/13

Three gifts in working:

124. Working on something with and for my husband is such a wonderful blessing. Completing something while working by his side makes me feel so close to him and makes our relationship stronger. Right now we are doing a juice fast together and i slept in this morning and was not able to make his juice to take to work. When I made mine I just made extra and dropped it off to his work on my way to run an errand. It felt good to do something for him.

125. When I see my children working together it just makes my heart sing. Having so many brothers and sisters can be trying at times. They do get upset with each other. I love it when they unselfishly meet the needs of one of their siblings. I make it a big deal when I see this to encourage them to do it more. Sometimes they see if they can outdo one another in good deeds.

126. I love Chick Fil A. The customer service there is above the norm for fast food restaurants. They are always eager to help and meet the needs of their customers. I enjoy the smiles and service every time I go. I also point this out to my children to encourage them that when they get jobs that they should strive to have excellent customer service skills.

I love Carl because he loves to spend time with the boys at night building those relationships with them.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Laughter 2/10/13

Three Times Hearing Laughter Today

121. Daniel and I laughing between Sunday school and church today over him having the hiccups. Luckily by the time the service began they had stopped.

122. Esther and I laughing at each other because we were both crying at the same point in a movie. We were snuggling in bed and watching Amazing Love about the prophet Hosea. We were both crying over Hosea redeeming Gomer from being sold into slavery. What a picture of God redeeming us.

123. Tirzah laughing and running around with just a diaper on. She was getting her pajamas on when Daddy came home. Chaos of greeting erupted from the children and she escaped her pajama changer. It was pure joy of greeting daddy after working all weekend.

I love Carl because he brought home dinner tonight because I had a headache and a cold. Also for letting me go upstairs and rest.

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Surprise Graces 2/9/13

3 surprise graces - unexpected blessings

118. My sweet first girl, Esther, was a complete surprise. We had three boys at the time and they were 4,3, and 1. I did not expect to get pregnant again so soon. I remember calling my husband and not being able to reach him. I called my sister in law and just broke down. She encouraged me and I was able to calm down and realize what a blessing this new life was going to be. Now, I look back nine years later and realize that this was no surprise to God. He knew that my precious Esther girl would be such a blessing to our family.

119. My sweet second girl, Tirzah. She also was a complete surprise. By this time we had seven children, 12,11,9,8,6,3, and 2. I was already overwhelmed. I was shocked when I found out and I was scared. I had had my first c-section with number 7 so I was really worried. It turned out that this little one was our long awaited and prayed for second girl. God knew that I would need this sweet little girl to make me laugh and smile.

120. My mother falling and hitting her head. She fell in the backyard and almost lost consciousness. In the process of getting checked out at the hospital the doctors found a brain tumor that probably would never have been found otherwise. This was just a few months after my father was diagnosed with leukemia. She had surgery to remove it and is now fine. My father is also cancer free. What a blessing that fall was. We are also able to help other families going through hard times.

I love Carl because when I am at the grocery store he takes care of the kids and tries to get them to clean the house and do the laundry so I have a clean house to come home to.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Broken and Fixed 2/8/13

A gift broken, fixed, and thrifted

115. Broken - Our marriage that reached the point of brokenness a few years ago. We dealt with an addiction and unfaithfulness. We even separated for while. We both purposed in our hearts that divorce was not an option. We have come back from that time of brokenness to a time of repentance, repairing, and renewal. We have come so far and continue to grow closer to The Lord and to each other.

116. Fixed - An iPod that was left in a pocket during a wash cycle. We found it in the dryer and immediately put it in rice. I prayed a lot. My son uses his iPod for school. A few days later we took it out and it works perfectly. I was not looking forward to buying a new one but The Lord chose to fix it.

117. Thrifted - The almost $200 Breville juicer that we found for $40. We had been praying for a few years that we could afford a nice juicer. What an amazing blessing from The Lord. We have used it many times. My husband and I are getting ready to do a juice fast next week.

I love Carl because he makes the time to get up early on Friday mornings to meet with other men in the church to encourage each other to grow in The Lord.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Time Slots 2/7/13

A gift at 11:30, 2:30, and 6:30

112. 11:30 - I went to the kids exchange today and saved a lot of money. I was able to get a whole summer wardrobe for Tirzah. I was also able to get some shorts for the boys and a bathing suit for Esther. What a blessing to go and shop in one spot for all the kids and still pay yard sale prices.

113. 2:30 - I woke up around this time last night from a deep sleep. The Lord woke me and I felt led to pray for a woman at our church who is going through chemo right now. I was also led to pray for a little girl who was in a car accident a few days ago and is serious condition. I prayed and went back to sleep. When I woke up this morning I had an e-mail about the little girl that said around 2:30 in the morning she went from stable to critical and had to be revived several times due to fluid in her belly. I saw the lady from our church this evening and told her I prayed for her last night. When I told her what time she grabbed me and said that she was awake at that time and just needed prayer right then. All I can say is Wow!

114. 6:30 - I got to spend some time with my oldest girl tonight. We are part of a group called Keepers At Home. We got to meet with other girls her age and make soap. What a blessing it was to help train her to one day be a keeper of her own home.

I love Carl because he is so willing to watch the kids while Esther and I go meet with other girls and women at our Keepers meeting, especially since it his birthday today.
Happy birthday my sweet man.

A Look Outside 2/6/13

Three things outside

109. The beautiful weather outside. It was about 55 degrees outside today and we did not need coats at all. What a gorgeous day to go and run some errands.

110. The fact that spring is coming and it is almost time to start planting my garden. Starting to pick what I want to plant this year.

111. The beautiful stars in the sky on a clear cold night. How amazing it is to see the multitude of stars in the sky and know that God put every one in place. Yet, he loves me more than all the stars in the sky and cherishes me.

I love Carl because he finally took me to Flemmings Steak House. Boy, was it delicious. Hands down it was the best steak I have ever had.

Caleb today decided that he wants to play football. He took two different snow gloves and put them on. He announced to us all that they were his football gloves. He then proceeded to find an extra large football jersey and put it on. This jersey is too big for everyone in the house, even Carl. It was huge on him but he was so cute. He even took it to BaBa's house today. He is just so cute and he makes me smile.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Stitched together 2/5/13

A gift stitched
106. The aprons I made for Esther and me for our keepers meeting. It reminds me that I need to be training her to be a godly women who is ready for whatever God has in store for her. I had such a great time making them with her.

A gift hammered
107. The benches at my kitchen table that my dad made for me. It is the only way that we can fit all the kids at the table. Everyone loves them and is always asking me where I got them.

A gift woven
108. The quilt that my Aunt Othella made for me for my wedding. It is called my special blanket. Whenever anyone in the house is sick or tired or just need to rest on the couch, this blanket is brought out. I love it and it the most well used blanket in the house.

I love Carl because he made my life easier today by bringing home lasagna left over from a lunch meeting he had.

Daniel learned today that he needs to trust me and obey me. I had to drop off the things I was selling for the kids exchange. I had to take all the kids with me. They were pretty well behaved except for one thing. I had told them not to climb on the low concrete wall that was outside the building. They kept running on it. Daniel was trying to jump from one section to another and slipped and banged his leg really bad. Luckily, Dr. Bob was home and we ran him over. He checked him out and gave him a clean bill of health. It saved me a trip to the ER.



Monday, February 4, 2013

Bending Down 2/4/13

3 gifts written in word

100. The marriage vows between Carl and me. Our pastor gave us a copy of the complete wedding ceremony, word for word. It was his gift to us. I love that my kids can read what was said at our marriage ceremony.

101. The sweet letters from my children to my husband and myself. They are written in little kids handwriting and include pictures. They are thank you letters, letters of apology, and general I love you mommy and daddy letters. They are so reckons and I keep them all.

102. The letters that were written by Carl and myself while he was in Kuwait for a year. Each letter and email was so precious and I love to go back and read them from time to time.

3 gift found while bent down

103. The sweet arms wrapped around me and the giggles as I bend down to tuck in three little boys each night. I never get tired of hearing "mommy, do it again."

104. The kiss my husband gives me each morning as he bends down to my lips. I am thankful for a man who has a job and works hard to provide for our family.

105. My knees which are still working although not as good as they used to. I recently started running and am thankful for the strength my knees have.

I love Carl because he loves football and encourages that in the boys.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Slips of paper

3 gifts on paper

97. My marriage certificate that started this journey I am on with my husband. It is more than just a legal document. It is a covenant I made before God. Divorce has never been an option for my husband and I despite trials that would have ended most marriages. Thank you God for allowing me to be Carl's helpmeet.

98. The 8 birth certificates of my children. Each one reminds of the wonderful blessing of that child. I am amazed that God chose me to be the mother of these children. They are all precious gifts.

99. The Bible that allows us to learn more about who God is and to become more like Christ. The men and women who gave their live protecting it makes it such a special book. What a huge gift we have in this country to read it freely and have multiple copies in our homes, for now anyway.

I love Carl because he is my beloved and my friend.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Old things new

3 old things found new

88. My relationship with my husband has become new this year. We have been working on communicating better with each other. Our relationship is growing like it has never done before. It is really a God thing as The Lord is working on both of our hearts to make us grow closer to him and therefore closer to each other.

89. The old game that I play with my kids since they could say I love you. If one of us says "I love you " then whoever says "I love you infinity and beyond" first after that wins. My 13 year old has recently begun to play this game with me every night. He gets me every time and then just smiles and laughs. I recently found a letter I had written to my husband on our 1st wedding anniversary. I signed it "I love you infinity." An old game made new and I love it.

90. A friend from high school recently made contact with me on Facebook. It made me bring out all my old yearbooks. I have had a blast looking back to my high school days. I am thankful because it reminds how far I have come in my walk with The Lord.

I love Carl because he put the date on his "I love you because ..." frame. The joke is he always forgets the date so when I go back to blog I can never tell what day he wrote it.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Graces found

Three graces found in friends:

82. A phone call from my sister to ask my advice about homeschooling her daughters. She always makes me smile. She calls me "mother of many."

83. A good discussion with a fellow homeschooler at church on Sunday. Sometimes I feel like all I do is run after kids all Sunday. Some Sundays I get no adult communication. It was good to talk to her and find out she is struggling with some of the same things I am.

84. The open lines of communication between my best friend and I. Of course I am referring to my sweet husband. We have been working hard at communicating better with each other this year. I am so thankful for that.

85. A song heard - the music I listen to when I walk and run in the afternoon is such a blessing. One song in particular is called "Savior's Here" by Kari Jobe. I listen to it every day and it just lifts up my soul.

86. A soft word- the soft girly sounds from my 18 month old. She does not speak yet but she communicates with her soft voice. I love to hear her "talk."

87. Light seen - my 13 year starting to see the light with regards to his spiritual walk. He was saved at a young age but has really struggled these past two years. He has been meeting with his father for bible study Monday mornings and we are seeing small changes. I am so thankful and pray that the small changes lead to big ones.

I love Carl because he has asked men in the church to hold him accountable in leading our family.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

My Kitchen

Three things I am thankful for today:
3 gifts in the kitchen

79. My crock pots. I love them. I use them at least three times a week. With 8 kids it is a necessity. In the past 24 hours I made homemade spaghetti sauce, two batches of potato soup and kept green beans warm for our potluck at church.

80. My kitchen table that was restrained and refinished last year by my mom and dad. We are almost maxed out on it but I love sitting together at dinner and talking about our day with my husband when he comes home from work.

81. My electric tea kettle. I use it multiple times a day. I fix my cappuccino in the morning and my magnesium at night. I love it and highly recommend them to non coffee drinkers.

I love Carl because he is always trying to make my life easier.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

At Dawn, At Noon, At Dark

Three things I am thankful for:

76. A gift before dawn- the sounds of the garbage truck picking up our trash and recycling. I am thankful for their 5a.m. wake up calls, especially this week when it below freezing outside. I am so thankful I do not have to worry about where my trash goes and that I do not have to take care of it myself.

77. A gift at noon - my husband and I reconciling after a fight we had this morning. It was a rough morning but the day ended on a good note. It was also an opportunity for me to have a good discussion with my almost 13 year old about repentance and confession. The Lord really pricked his heart about an issue.

78. A gift after dark - reading the Bible every night to my 11 year old boy. It has become a routine for us and he looks forward to it every night. I love discussing the passages with him.

I love Carl because he is making us communicating better a priority and we working on making our relationship stronger than ever.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Stuck

This week I literally have been stuck in a rut. I have been off my schedule and that totally and completely derailed my consistency. I also had some discouraging news this week from a doctor. My mom has always said that it takes 3 days to get back on your feet after bad news. She is absolutely right. It has taken me 3 days but now I am ready to get back on track with my mission to grow in The Lord this year. I will not allow this week to make me fall. I will keep on track. So, I need to get back into the 31 questions. I am very far behind now.
Today's question is : what is one new way I can be a blessing to my pastor is year?

This is kind of a difficult question for me as we do not have a pastor. We have elders who lead our church and specific men take turns leading the services. I think the best thing I can do for them is to pray for them daily. I need to keep a list of who is serving for the upcoming week and pray for them. I also need to keep a list of the elders and pray for them everyday. Praying for Chris and April in Thailand is also something I think I need to add to my daily prayer list. I need to write it down and pray every day. I think writing a note to the wife of whoever is leading my be something I should consider. I know when Carl has had to lead the service that I prayed for and wanted to help him any way I could. I need to get my prayer journal right after this and add a page that reminds to pray for the elders and men in the church who are leading and for their wives to encourage them.

Three things I am thankful for.

Yesterday:
70. The blue sky on a warm, spring day where my children and I can go for a walk. Especially the first one after a long, hard, cold winter. I look forward to those days on days like today when the wind is howling and the temperature is in the 20's.

71. The blue of the sapphire is my engagement ring. It is my favorite gemstone. I love that my husband designed my ring and had it custom made. Every part has a meaning and tells a story.

72. The blue ocean water. Living near the Atlantic Ocean all my life has been such a blessing. I have visited every year. I love the peaceful sounds of the ocean waves. I have found such peace there and my words on a page seem to flow better at the ocean. I love going, even in the winter.

Today:
73. Borrowed- the books that we can get from the library. How awesome is it that we live in a country that we can go to the library and get most any book we want. I am especially thankful for a mother who buys books and lets me borrow them any time I want. She has a wonderful collection at her home.

74. Found- a new joy for my children this year. I have a renewed appreciation and joy for them as I have drawn closer to God. I am enjoying them more and the changes in them is amazing. Also, a renewed love for my wonderful husband.

75. Inherited - my mother has always been a reader and a writer. Words have been something she has always been good at. Whether something like that is genetic or not, she passed her love for the written word to me. She has always encouraged me to write. Last year for Christmas she gave me a wonderful gift filled with memories from my childhood. She wrote me a beautiful letter encouraging me to write down my memories for my children. She had a brain tumor a few years ago and has lost some of her memory. She now wishes she had written more things down.

I love Carl because he came home early so I would not have to worry about driving on the roads after they got really bad. Thanks sweetie.



Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Letting Go

Today was a day for letting go. I have been dealing with something with regard to one of the children since he was very little. He has seen multiple specialists and everyone has agreed that there was something wrong but no one would say what it was. We saw specialists at our pediatrician s office, and several at UNC. He was diagnosed with several things but in my heart I knew that there was something more. I knew what it was but I could not get the right diagnosis. I knew that once I had this diagnosis that it would open a door to the therapy and help this child needs. I made an appointment with a doctor who is considered to be THE specialist in diagnosing this particular problem. We had an appointment today with her. I was prepared to hear her diagnosis of what I knew already and move on to getting help for my child. I was not prepared for what she told us. What I thought it was she said it was not. She said it was just what we already knew he had been diagnosed with. I was devastated. Was I wrong all this time? I have been second guessing myself all day. I feel like such a bad mother because I was sure I knew what the problem was. I have just been upset all day because now I am right back where I was before. I have a child who needs help and I have to figure out how to do that on my own. Now begins the research of trying to fix the problems he has on my own. Diet changes, maybe. More structure, definitely. Lots of patience and time spent working with this child one on one. Trying to balance that with helping 3 other children who tend to have problems too. Trying to deal with the social aspects of this problem. I just felt deflated because I have other people say that my child has this particular problem that the doctor said he does not have. The thing i need to remember is, he is still the same kid he was yesterday. He still has these issues and will for the rest of his life. I guess it is just time to let it go and move on to helping him myself. I have been doing that his whole life, now I guess I just need to step it up a little. A lot of people have asked me why I would want this diagnosis for my child. Here is my reason. We live in a world that watches each other. I have had people ask me what condition this particular child had. I have always told them what he has been diagnosed with already knowing in my heart it was something more. I would have liked to have been able to tell them a real answer. When I tell them what he has been diagnosed with, they look at me weird because he acts differently than any child I have ever known with what they say he has. I especially would have liked to have told some family members who treat this child differently. I know things will be okay. I guess I am just venting a little. The Lord has sent me peace today but it keeps being swallowed up with Satan's attempts to discourage me. I need to keep my mind focused on things of God so I can continue to have peace. The Lord gave me a phrase from a song today that I have been clinging to. "Every gift that I receive you determined just for me, but nothing I desire compares with You." I have just been playing this song over and over today. This child is such a special gift. God knew that I needed him and he needed me. It was determined by God for me to be his mom because The Lord knew that I would take care of him and fight for him and protect him and teach him. He is my sweet boy and will forever love him and I think that God made him for a special purpose. He is unique and there is no one like him. He makes me smile and has such a sweet spirit that does not want to see anyone in pain. He is my constant companion and probably will be most of his life. I pray that God would reveal to both of us the wonderful plan He has for this child.

Three things I am thankful for:

61. A gift in the sky-Orion constellation. With 6 boys, we love the soldier with his knife/sword. We look for it every night. My husband's brother is Ryan and we were pointing out Orion one night in the car. One of my littles called out from the back of the van, " I don't see Uncle Ryan." Too funny.

62. A gift in water - Falls Lake, where we get our water from, is full and looks awesome. I have seen it almost empty during a drought.

63. A gift in memory - the meek and quiet spirit of my grandmother, Hester Holder. She died this summer. May I be like her in the way she never rose her voice to her children. I have one of her pearl necklaces that was given to me at her funeral. All the daughters and granddaughters received a piece of jewelry that belonged to her.

64. A gift wrinkled - the hands of my mother reaching out to hold my 1 year old daughter.

65. The smooth, clear skin of my daughters arms wrapped around her BaBa's neck tightly.

66. My mother bought me a really soft blanket for my birthday. The kids call it my special blanket. Tonight I could not stop shivering. I unfolded the blanket, which is always on the back of my headboard and now I am all nice and toasty. Thank goodness for mothers who buy warm, snuggly blankets.

67. In Christ I find peace. Today has been a day of disappointment and letting go of something I have held on to for years. I am still struggling but He has sent me peace today through songs.

68. In Christ I find satisfaction in my life. Right where I am is exactly where God wants me. Even in my disappointment today, He is all I ever need.

69. In Christ I find purpose. Every gift I have been given has been determined to be just right for me by God himself. Being a mother to two children who have severe ADHD and two others with other problems is a struggle but God knew I was the right mom for these children. I am their mom because God knew that it was the best thing for me and them.

I love Carl because he is sensitive to when I am upset and gives me the time and space I need to get myself together.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

My Job

What is the most important thing that I can do to improve the quality of my work life this year?
I always joke with people that I have a job but I just don't get paid. Actually I do. But my paycheck comes in the form of kisses and hugs. I personally think that is the best paycheck in the world. I was standing in line today at Harris Teeter and the cashier said something about coming in to work. I made the comment that I have not had a job since 1998. Wow! The words coming out Of my mouth astounded me. I have been a stay at home mom of 15 years. Wow! Like I said before I do have a job and it is a hard one. I don't get lunch breaks or coffee breaks. I sometimes don't even get bathroom breaks. I am constantly on the go from sun up to sun down. I have 8 people that I am completely responsible for with me at all times. I am in charge of feeding them, clothing them, and making sure that their educational needs are all met. Wow! I do get paid in kisses and squeezes and drawings of me in stick figure. What more could I ask for? I know that there are times when I get frustrated and angry at my job, but this is where God has me right now. I am the mother of 8 and wife to one.
So, what can I do to improve my job this year? I can purpose in my heart the reason why I am doing what I am doing. I need to remember that I am right where God wants me to be. I need to remember that he never gives us anything we cannot handle and he equips us with everything we need to be successful right where he has placed us. This is what I need to remember when my children are sick and throwing up. This is what I need to remember when a child yells at me and tells me that they hate me. This is what I need to remember when a child had pooped his pants because he said he forgot. I need to put this all in writing and then look at it every morning. This is exactly where God wants me and he will give me the strength to be victorious.

Three things I am thankful for
Three gifts close up:
58. The sheer joy on my husbands face while he was playing with our little girl tonight.

59. The smile on her face at being close to mommy and daddy.

60. Paula Dean's peanut butter cup brownie s'mores made from scratch by my 13 year old baker boy. And eating them while watching the Ravens/patriots game. Go Ravens.

I love Carl because he enjoys watching football almost as much as I do. Go Ravens!



Saturday, January 19, 2013

A financially worry free holiday

What is my most important financial goal this year and what is the most important step I can take toward achieving it?
Carl has always done the finances in our house. I know for him this question would be answered differently. I have a set budget every two weeks. I really want to work toward setting money aside for Christmas next year. Every year but this one I have been running around the month of December and completely miss out on the true meaning of Christmas. This year I purposed in my heart to be done by the end of November. I accomplished that goal. I planned crafts and food and activities that made the season more special. My favorite thing was the Random Acts of Christmas Kindness that we did. It was awesome going around and paying for people's food at a drive-thru, leaving 60% tips for waiters, and leaving blankets at a bus stop on a cold day. The kids loved it. I want to be able to afford to do more next year and bigger things. So, I want to save all year long so at Christmas I can buy what my kids require and have money left over to do 25 days of RACK's.
One way I heard of doing this is to do a 52 weeks of savings plan. The first week you put in $1. The second week, $2. The third week. $3. It goes on up with you adding the amount of the week that you are on. So for week 31, you would $31 and so on. By the end of the year you save over $1300. I could do a lot of RACK's with that. Imagine the lives our family could touch.
So, that is my goal for year. I want to save as much money as I can in order to touch more lives next holiday season.

Three things I am thankful for:
3 gifts that might never have been

55. On July 4, 1997, I was going to a party to meet a boy I was dating. He never showed up. My husband attended the same party to meet up with another girl. She never showed up. I pouted and this man I had never met cheered me up and sang me a song. Two months later we got engaged and that same December we got married . 15 years and 8 kids later we are still going strong.

56. I took birth control as soon as we got married. I got pregnant anyway, twice. After that I felt The Lord leading me to trust him with our family. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would be the mother of 6 boys and 2 girls and my heart still having room for more. I am glad I trusted The Lord. He has blessed me so much. With our last one they found a kidney problem on the ultrasound. They told us it was a marker for Down syndrome. They brought up the topic of terminating the pregnancy. Our beautiful, Tirzah Grace is now a year and half old and very healthy. How blessed we are.

57. Standing on the side of the road after just hitting a deer. Car, totaled. Eight kids, hot and tired. In Indiana on our way to Colorado to visit my sister. One e-mail sent to our church loop. We had people all over the world praying for us. A friend of a fellow church goer gave us the number of a friend of theirs who lived nearby. They let us stay with them and their 7 kids. They fed us, did our laundry, and even let us keep our trailer on their property while we continued our journey. We now have friends for life and all from a deer that hit our van.

I love Carl because he gets so excited to try new things, even if I think going over someone's house to slaughter ducks is a weird thing.