Weakness July 10, 2013

3 Gifts in Weakness.

571. My struggles with anger. I fight every day to not succumb to the rise of frustration and anger that wells up in me. I often sit and wonder how I became a screamer. I have had victory in some areas. Some days are better than others. I continue to find that the more I pray and the closer I get to Him that the more I rely on Him and have victory. I am finding myself being calm more in the face of stress and frustration. I pray that the victories will soon outweigh the failures.

572. My fight to find and keep joy every day. I am so weary of making my blessings into burdens. I am tired of choosing fear over joy. I let the stress and frustration take hold in my life. I pass that onto my children as we do not have a joyful home. I am striving to replace the fear and stress with joy and thanksgiving. When I let the stresses of the day overcome me then it is like I am saying that God is not strong enough. It comes down to faith. When I choose fear, I have a lack of faith. I need to look for the things in my life that are joyful. I need to count my blessings and spend much time with the Lord. That is where my joy comes from.

573. My failures as a wife. There have been so many times that I have failed Carl. I have not been the help meet that he needs. I have been wallowing in my own self pity and have neglected the needs of my husband. I am weary of failure. I am so tired with mediocrity. I want to rise to victory. I just seem to fail all the time. I do realize though that I need to take the action first. Submission always begins with the one who is supposed to be submitting. I cannot wait for a certain behavior or action from Carl in order for me to take action. My action should come first regardless on what Carl says or does.