Anger

It seems like the Lord has been ever so gently revealing to me that anger is extremely destructive. Our ladies Bible study is going through Dr. S M Davis' series on anger (which is awesome and I highly recommend them). The first one is called Anger-The Destroyer. It was enlightening. I had listened to this before but it never really made me want to change. I always have known that I have had an anger problem but I did not know how to fix it. I thought that it was fine for a mom to yell at her kids because it made them obey. What I did not realize is that I have trained my children to respond only when my voice reaches a certain level. I have trained them to be just as angry as I am. When I look at Tirzah I realize that I need to change so that I do not start these bad habits with her. I have been studying scripture to see what the Bible has to say about anger and also reading books about it. I am amazed at the amount of books that I own that deal with this issue. Last night I prayed that the Lord would reveal something to me while I was reading my Bible. William and I are reading through the Bible in a year. It is convicting when you 11 year old son comes into your room and asks why you skipped a day. He has been very consistent as where I have had to catch up a few days. Anyway, I was reading in Proverbs 30 last night (which I have read many times before) when something jumped off the page.

If you have been foolish, exalting yourself,
or if you have been devising evil,
put your hand on your mouth.
For pressing milk produces curds,
pressing the nose produces blood,
and pressing anger produces strife.
(Proverbs 30:32-33 ESV)


Wow! I never saw that before. My anger produces strife in my children. I mean I know that. We all know that. But do we really KNOW it? Do we really work to get rid of the anger in our lives. I have purposed this week and last week to and really from now on to make an effort to not let my anger show. I have been realizing how much I am angry. I have been trying to stop myself and literally "put your hand over your mouth." Let me tell you that when you have a habit and sin that has been so much a part of your life for many years that it is exhausting to try and stop. Through the strength of the Lord I have been having little victories these past two weeks. I have also had setbacks. I am learning what triggers me and what time of day is the worst for me. I am trying to laugh and enjoy my children more and be more consistent with my discipline. I am speaking to them gently and catching myself when my voice gets agitated. Oh my, am I tired. But this is what God calls me to do. To repent means a turning away from. I have resolved to turn away from my anger. I hope you will pray for me as I endeavor to teach my children to have a humble spirit by having one myself.